Insight of a Firespirit

Moving out!

2010-03-16T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hi readers of this blog!

Be aware that I have now moved to Melbourne, and as such have started a new blog (I do that a lot) to document my currently semi-independent life, with such interesting activities as cooking my own food, screwing up my laundry, and suffering through public transport!

Yes, I am aware that I am sounding very dramaqueen-ish.

Anyway, feel free to head on over to the Black Cat Enigma, and for those of you who still have me linked under this blog, do change the address as I won't be updating this one any more!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow..

2009-11-24T02:36:00.000-08:00

For some reason I have lost the urge to blog. It's annoying. I want to blog. I'm just LAZY to.

You'd think being on holiday, I'd do stuff like this a lot more.

I need...to do a lot of things.
I need...to say a lot of things.
I need...to think about a lot of things.

I don't want...to do everything.

Sigh.

I went and watched 2012 yesterday, at the Platinum Lounge in Cineleisure. It was great. :P The seat was awesome, two people can easily cuddle up together on it, plus you could recline it even! They had butler service and everything - though blankets and pillows weren't free, hmph. But honestly at RM25 a person, it was (considered) cheap. They had a real lounge outside the theatre, with massage chairs, TVs, Internet access, magazines, and self-service soft drinks. Will post pictures on Facebook...sooon :P

On to the movie itself, I personally thought it was excellent. It had the right blend of special effects, human emotion, and maybe just the tiniest dose of reality check (no, I don't care what you say, Dely, there's a reason everyone wants to watch this movie :P) There were many instances within the movie where it was sad, and yes I cried. Just a tear or two though!

I highly doubt the world will end in 2012. I sincerely hope it doesn't, anyway..I'll only be what, 22 then? Haven't even seen the world, had life-changing experiences, and stuff like that! But assuming you knew that the world was going to end, what would you do? What would you say? Would you forgive and forget? Would you do something you've always wanted to?

I came away from that movie feeling very introspective. In other words, reexamining my life. There was one scene where an old man hadn't spoken to his son since he married a Japanese girl. Then when he finally tried to call the son, just as the son was about to answer, a tsunami or something hit his house and he died. So the father never got to the son ever again.

So, moral of the story...life is short. Make of it what you can. Never be afraid to say or do something, because you may never get another chance.

'Appreciate today, because there may not be a tomorrow.'

Distractions..

2009-11-05T16:54:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOD KHAI LING CAN YOU PLEASE CONCENTRATE????

This is me screaming at myself, yes.

For goodness's sake, it's the last exam, then I won't have to bother with it for four months. Why can I not focus damn it?! x.x

I really, really, really need to break this last minute studying habit. REALLY.

It's going to kill me when I go to Melbourne.

In other news, I still don't know what I want to do but I do know that all my potential choices are in Caulfield. So I shall not worry any more about changing campuses, yay.

*drifts off sleepily...*

EXCUSE ME IT'S ALMOST 9, YOUR EXAM STARTS IN 4 HOURS. CAN YOU PLEASE GO AND STUDY THE 5 CHAPTERS YOU HAVE LEFT???

Die la =.=

Hm..

2009-10-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

I didn't get chosen tonight, and I have mixed feelings. Relief? Yes, in huge amounts. Disappointment? If I admit it to myself, maybe a little. But I know, truthfully, that this was the best possible decision for all involved, and it's just the Leo in me that is a little jealous. I'm not ready, that much I know, and this setup allows me to do everything I like while still exerting the same sort of influence. Maybe when I wake up tomorrow, this will seem like the best idea ever - which really, it is.

Yes, you normal folks aren't supposed to be able to make any sense out of this. :P

Random thoughts.

2009-10-28T01:57:00.000-07:00

I finally realized I have surprisingly few things to surf on the Internet when I'm not playing Achaea. Aside from Achaean forums, Facebook, and Hotmail...I seriously have nothing else to look at. o.o

Yes, if you haven't guessed already that's why I'm blogging now haha xD I know, I know. I haven't blogged for ages. Technically, I should really be doing my 1500 words thing for FTV (television studies) but well...it's raining outside, I have the aircon in my room...and I'm sweating. =.=

Well, semester technically has officially ended, and now we're supposed to be studying for our exams. This semester I only have two - International Studies, and Media Studies. Just handed in my Journalism final essay yesterday, woot. :D

It feels so weird thinking that I'll be going overseas next year. I mean, I haven't got the confirmation that they've accepted me into Caulfield yet (pray for me I guess x.x) but likely one way or the other I'll be going. Thinking that I won't be seeing my uni friends next year (though hopefully I will see you in Melbourne, if you exchange here!)

Sometimes the doubting part of me wonders if I shouldn't just stay. Maybe just one semester, two semesters, maybe...actually why do I even want to go overseas again?

But then I go bloghopping, look at the pictures, read the entries, and even though I know I'll be homesick too, I know in my heart that I really do want to go. I want to see new places, explore new things, I want to know what it's like to really live somewhere else. I know it'll be hard, that I'll miss everyone (and if even Matthew missed Malaysian food, I can only imagine how much I'll be missing it) that I'll miss my family and be homesick and everything.

But I really want to go. It's always been my dream to study overseas. No matter how hard it is (I guess I should just study earlier, bleagh) I still want to go.

And no, for those of you who are smirking now, I would've gone with or without Matthew, so there. :P

I guess I should make the most of my last few months though. Learn to cook(!), go on trips with friends, EAT MORE MALAYSIAN FOOD (although I draw the line at durians, seriously). Plus, it's not like I'll be alone there. From what I've heard, Melbourne is like a mini-Malaysia. :P

And, Monash has tons of holidays. So I'll be able to come back and visit, and be bored out of my skull when everyone gets tired of me :P

Whether or not I'll stay there...it really depends, I guess. I think I'll just see how it goes.

I should really go and do work now blah.

(Hahaha do you think so?)

3-minute update!

2009-10-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

Ok yes I know I am very horrible at updating this blog. *coughs*

And ironically, updating this while I'm already late for class (I'm still at home) is hardly the best thing to do.

But just to update (whatever readers I have) on my life as it stands now:

1. Matthew came to visit. :)

2. I got accepted into Berwick campus (for Monash) but decided that I might want to switch to Caulfield and am anxiously hoping they allow switching so I at least have a choice. I make stupid decisions, I know..even my parents have given up on me *cough*

3. Mayaween is coming on Achaea, and I am busy designing costumes! (that get rejected most of the time...what is wrong with an arrow-through-the-head headband?!)

4. Worrying about my final Journalism assignment, in which I have to do a story about whether govt. exams should be deleted (PMR, UPSR, etc)

5. Feeling a little out of touch with old friends lately. Where is everyone?

6. Wondering about the feasibility of a trip with uni friends!

That's all for now!

Coz you've had a bad day

2009-08-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

Today has not been a good day.

I finished my assignment rather late, considering most of my classmates were talking about how fast they finished it (maybe I'm just dumb or something) despite waking up at 6.

Then, I drove to uni and found a parking space in front of the shaded walkway. But when I opened the door carefully, trying not to hit the other car, I ended up twisting my arm. And it was so painful that after I walked a few steps, I had to sit down and bend double, pressing my arm to my chest until it stopped hurting. Now it still kinda hurts a bit.

Then when I was driving home, it rained, so it took longer...and I was tired.

Then the stupid van for next door was in my place again, so I had to park opposite, and got wet.

Then I'm left all alone at night.

And I still have an assignment to do.

And I couldn't call Tao to ask her if the time was right for Saturday.

Ragh. Bad day, bad day.

Time to change.

2009-08-18T01:38:00.000-07:00

Hahaha yay found a cute blogskin! :P I didn't really like my old one so I wanted a change.

Vivienne's never going to visit my blog again. :P

Now the reputting of all my links..ack.

When I'm SUPPOSED (supposed) to be doing assignments!

Teeth woes.

2009-08-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

I really don't know why I bother going to the dentist with hope any more.

I've been wearing my braces patiently ever since Dec 2007, enduring countless ulcers, bleeding gums, stabbing pains and generally the discomfort and inconvenience of braces in general.

I also hate the elastics.

Then the dentist says in June that it might be able to be removed by August if I'm good and keep wearing my elastics. So I do, and wear them every day like a good girl.

Then I go back in July, and apparently I've been TOO GOOD (wth?!?!) wearing the elastics, and my teeth have moved out too much. So now I have to wear elastics to move them BACK. I cry inside, but not much I can do, so I wear them. The dentist tells me to wear them only until my front teeth move back out again, then stop.

So this month I go back, and the dentist says it's just nice. Great! She takes out the top wire of my braces, muttering something about wearing elastics in a different way, and I am apprehensive but at this point I've worn elastics in so many ways that I'm sure it can't be that bad. At the very least it probably won't be a very strong wire because she doesn't want my front teeth to move in that much.

But NOOOOOO.

After some tweaks she replaces the wire in my mouth, and immediately I can feel that it's a harder, stronger wire than the one before (you learn these things, having worn braces for 2 years...teeth are surprisingly sensitive things) AND she slips when trying to secure the wire to my teeth, and it hurts. Then as if that weren't bad enough, she instructs me to wear the elastics in a way that completely pulls my teeth shut together. I can't open my mouth at all without removing the elastics. Apparently, this is to 'pull my teeth closer together so that I can bite'.

At this point I nearly want to cry. It just seems to be going from bad to worse. She said she would monitor it when I came back in September, and if all goes well she would take it out in October...although considering she said much the same thing in June, I'm not hopeful.

Next month I am just going to go to the dentist with no expectations whatsoever. If it comes off, it comes off, if it doesn't, whatever.

Present! :DDDD

2009-08-11T23:21:00.001-07:00

Oh yes, aside from presents that I got (pictures of which I have put up in Facebook) I also got something else..

Introducing..the Sony Ericsson T707!!

Yes I am very excited about it. :P It's the first phone I've ever properly chosen for myself! All my other phones were hand-me-downs. :P

You might be wondering why I didn't choose a touch screen phone, which seems to be all the rage, or even an iPhone. Well, I don't like touch screen phones because they get so dirty (fingerprints everywhere! Eeee) and iPhones are out of my league (but my mom is getting one..sigh T_T).

Anddddd, I like flip phones. :D

When I told my dad I wanted this phone he was like, 'Why Sony Ericsson? Why not Nokia?' Well, the answer to that is simple too..Nokia doesn't make any decent flip phones!

Apparently the T707 was supposed to come out in like 5 colours, but in the end (so far) only 3 made the cut. Something Black, Something Pink (no those aren't their real names) and Lucid Blue.

As you can see, I got blue! xD

On a side note, Blogger is so bloody uncooperative when posting pictures. Every time I put in a new picture I get new spaces between my text, grrr.

I had so much trouble choosing this phone. First I had to decide between W508:

Which only comes in two colours, but apparently you can change the covers to whatever you like. Also, the specs are nearly identical to the T707, and it has Walkman (something to do with sound quality or whatever) and motion gaming (where you tilt the phone and the car you're driving in the game turns right or whatever).

However, to me, all the covers weren't interesting. And they weren't -shiny-. Shiny is a big criteria in stuff I like!

Plus look at the horrible keypad colours..

The blue and grey could have been acceptable..but white and LIME GREEN? Ewwww.

And the phone that I really liked last year, the W980, was now about the same price as this phone. (Last year it was something like 2k!) So I was considering it too.

I mean it was black and orange..:( But it was also Woei Lin's phone, and I didn't want to get the exact same one :P Besides, I compared it and it had a few less features.

Anyway, I ended up deciding on the T707, as I said! And now came to ordering it..

When I wanted to buy the phone, it wasn't out yet in Malaysia. The blue one, at least. All the retailers and shops that I went to only had either the pink or the black one. No blueeee. :( I didn't want to order it at first because I was afraid it wouldn't look as nice as on the website when it got here. But after thinking about it for a week or two, I finally decided to order it from the Sony Centre in 1U. (Fun fact: The first time I went there to see if they had the phone, it was RM999. Two weeks later, when I came back to do the actual ordering, it was RM865. Talk about a price drop!)

They promised me I'd have it by my birthday, which was 3 days away from the time that I placed my order.

Then on Monday, they called me and said I'd only get it by the end of this week, or next, because they'd just placed the order and it probably wouldn't be ready. So fine, I can accept that, it was a rush order.

Two days after that (one day after my birthday) they called me and said I'd have to wait AN ENTIRE MONTH because the warehouse had no stock!! I was like O.O?!?! The guy just said sorry and he would refund my deposit if it was urgent. Disappointed, I told him I'd think about it.

I was on the verge of looking for another phone, or giving in and getting the pink one (which I didn't really want) but luckily for them my Internet died and I couldn't get on to look for a new phone.

Then the next day..

"Hello?"

"Ah, Miss Chan Khai Ling? You ordered the blue T707 right?"

"Yes."

"It's arrived, you can come and pick it up now."

"O.O...ohh. Okay! I'll, uh, come and pick it up later. Thanks!"

Talk about giving me a heart attack.

Anyway, all's well that ends well, and now I have my phone! :D It's preeeeetty. Now I need to get a nice handphone accessory for it! I'm thinking..fluffy xD

Thanks Chun Yee, JJ, Tao, Matthew, Wei Yan and everyone else whom I pestered for opinions about which phone I should get. :P

I'm 19!

2009-08-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've blogged, I know. 8 days since I've turned 19 now! To all those that have wished me a happy birthday, thank you. :)

I didn't really expect much this birthday. Past two years, I did birthday parties at my house..this year I just wanted to go out, but Woei Lin went to Korea :( So in the end, (kinda very last minute in the end), I asked my uni mates to go out with me on my birthday, because Tao wasn't free that day (although I did go out with her before, on Monday).

Let me see if I can upload the pictures..

Okay never mind it didn't work. But those who have added me on Facebook, it's in my photos!

Tao and Woei Lin got me cupcakes! :P They were really cute, but also really really sweet. Too much icing sugar @.@ But it was cute to look at though :P And they got me makeup..which um..I will use...sometime in the future xD

There is a kind of present that I (sometimes) gift to people, that I really want for myself, but it seems so pointless to get it done for myself. If you can get that for me, and make it nice (:P) I will love you forever~~!!

It's not something abstract, in case you're wondering. :P I've told a few people about it but not many.

But anyway.

Then I went out on Tuesday, with a bunch of uni mates, to Sunway Pyramid. It was really the first time such a huge group of us (ok it was more like 6-7, but still) had gone out together, so I wasn't really sure what to expect.

We watched Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, because I'd already watched The Proposal, which was really the only movie worth watching that was showing at that time. (The Proposal isn't really worth your money, in my opinion - it's the sort of movie you'd download instead of watching in cinemas) and while it's no Transformers, it wasn't half bad either, which was more than I had hoped for.

Okay why are all the pictures so huge.

Then we went to Kim Gary to eat, and I had the birthday discount voucher (50% off for the entire bill!) and by some lucky chance, we had exactly 6 people! We ended up paying a grand total of RM44 for a 6-person meal. XD And I paid..so when I collected the money from them I almost collected the original amount..I would have had 40 bucks extra xD

After that we decided to go on and go bowling..something I haven't done for a really, really long time! I forgot how much I missed it. :P It was tons of fun - and I even got a strike! xD

And finally, we decided to go take the sticker photos (apparently called purikura in Japanese..what a funny name) and somehow squeezed all 6 of us in a photo xD Decorating the photos was lots of fun..I changed everyone's hair colour XP

At night I went to eat Sushi Zanmai with my parents...and had a huge cup of really yummy ice cream that I somehow managed to finish. I love that ice cream. *drools*

Just to show you how yummy it was, here's a picture I managed to find of it. :P

Yummy~~~~

And cut the birthday cake (chocolate) at night! My mom somehow managed to delete all the pictures of that, so no pictures =.= But if you go to Cake Sense you'll probably see it anyway.

Despite low expectations I had a great birthday, with both new friends and old. :) Thank you everyone for making it a wonderful day!

Things to be happy about.

2009-07-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

I just realized that the previous post was my 50th post (on that blog!) Wooot. I never expected my public blog to reach that many. :P

I don't have anything particularly insightful to add today besides the fact that I am happy that some things don't change. Yes, cryptic, I know. :P

Also, watch Ice Age 3. It was funny and worth the money! (RM11..okay, maybe not so worth it, but it entertained)

Plus. New sunglasses! :D

Hahaha k la I know I am lousy at posing. :P (Well, for other people, anyway.)

Concentrate on the sunglasses. :P

This is how I would look if someday I wear contact lenses. (Which won't happen for a fair while)

You can see the brand if you squint real hard - Lee Cooper. Please ignore the messy hair.

My first sunglasses! :D And they were half price! XP

Even my brother's 'You look silly' when I put them on shall not dampen my mood. Really, after he decided he liked a green and yellow pair of metal glasses, his judgment is null and void.

Of birthdays and glasses.

2009-06-29T03:14:00.000-07:00

Holidays have officially begun.

Well, they began about a week ago, but I was extremely busy the ENTIRE week (okay, except Monday and Thursday, but really, every day after that!) with various activities. Woei Lin's birthday, going to KLCC, the Cadet gathering thingy, going to be fitted for new glasses..whew.

Firsttly, a birthday shoutout to Woei Lin because she's my bestest friend! (and also because I uh..thought her birthday was on the 24th when it was the 22nd..but we don't have to mention that :D)

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!

You're only a year away from the big 20, so enjoy your last moments of teenagehood!

...okay, I swear it's not as bad as it sounds. :P

There are more pictures on Facebook, but I'm sure you all want to know what the birthday girl looks like. And what we got her!

Sorry, boys, she's taken. :P

We got her this..charm bangle? Actually the kimono had a head, but we chopped it off. *muahahaha*

I like the candle light in this picture. Sadly, I didn't take it. :P

Photo credits go to the Little Blue Mermaid! XD

But yes, many happy returns, and even though I ended up with a splitting headache I hope you enjoyed your day. We were such unlikely seat partners during Form 4..initially I thought we had quite opposing personalities :P But somehow we wound up best friends, 3 years later..and I wouldn't have it any different. :) Thank you for all the times you've spent in class watching me do my finger-dinosaur walk, listening to me sing nursery rhymes, all the times we've gossiped about this, that and the other, and for all the times you helped me collect my work. :P

Thanks for the times you've listened to me and given advice, and even joined the Police Cadets. :P Let me tell you, it was an interesting experience having you there. :P Thanks for comforting me after 'the incident' - I don't even know if you remember it - but I do, and thank you.

May this year be a good year for you! (Hint: Learn to drive :P)

On to other topics..

On Sunday I went to get a new pair of glasses fitted, because my glasses are at least 4 years old now. Initial tests said that my power had increased by 200 and I was like O.O..but then I did the more thorough test, and ended up only my right eye's power increased by 25, while the other didn't at all. So now my power is 350/350.

Which is not bad considering I've been at 200 power since I was 9! Usually your power increases by 25-50 a year.

So, I've been looking around for frames, and Tao and Woei Lin came with me. We found frames like..

Well, not exactly like that, but you get the picture. Plastic frames. I generally abhor plastic frames, but the designs were getting better, I had to admit, and Tao was encouraging me to change my style from the frameless glasses I was previously wearing:

So okay..I tried on a few, and even liked it. Then on Sunday, as I previously said, I went again to the shop and got fitted for a pair.

I went to collect my glasses today..and here they are!

DUM DUM DUM....

HAHAHA. I know the main reaction now is 'Got difference meh?!' Well the answer is 'Yes there is a difference okay!'

These new glasses have yellow-orange metal frames, and have a half-steel frame! Not frameless any more - or pink!

...but other than that yeah la. Not much difference la.

Okay wait! Don't kill me first :P There's a reason why I didn't pick plastic frames. The main fact is that my glasses were light and small, you see. Designed to be unobstructive and purely just to help me see - which is what glasses do! But plastic glasses, they're big and chunky, and are more accessorial (no, I don't know if that's a word) than functional. I'm aware that some companies market glasses as accessories. But to me, the more important and immediate usage is as a visual aid, and I really don't want something huge and heavy hanging off the end of my nose all the time.

No, my parents will not let me get contacts yet. And I still have something wrong with my eye. Slow and steady does the trick. :P

Anyway! Here's the old..

And here's the new!

Okay la really not much difference la. But that's good right? I looked okay with the old glasses, so why depart too much? Why fix something that isn't broken? Glasses aren't cheap, ya know? Better to go with something I like than go with something I'm not sure of and might regret..especially expensive stuff!

Besides, what's important is that I like it. So what if other people don't think it's nice - you're not the one who has to wear this and look in the mirror every day!

Not really the same la! :P

Also, dentist says the earliest the braces can come off is in August. I HOPE. X.x

Presentations.

2009-05-28T00:58:00.000-07:00

I've decided to write a guide to presentations. Mostly to remind myself of things I need to look out for when making presentations, but I'm sure it'll be helpful to those of you who are reading this too, especially since uni needs you to do a lot of them!

1. Keep it short and simple.

Even if all your sentences are gramatically correct, people aren't interested in sitting there for 15 minutes and reading off your slides. Your job is to interpret your topic and present the facts to people - not splashing it all over your presentation and hoping your audience will magically absorb the facts. If your presentation took less than an hour to do, you probably need to give it a second look. Keep your points short, and write notecards to remind yourself of extra information that you can talk about to keep your audience interested.

2. Pictures.

I cannot even stress how important pictures are in powerpoint presentations. The whole point of a powerpoint (pun unintended) is to provide visual backup for the information that you are going to present. It helps the audience absorb the information better. Putting large blocks of text in your powerpoint is not going to help the audience absorb the information.

Your pictures don't even need to have more than a cursory reference to what you're talking about. There just needs to be something for the audience to look at, to keep them interested, while you're talking. At minimum, each powerpoint slide should have AT LEAST one picture in it. I'd lose interest really quickly if the presenter's powerpoint was full of text and nothing but text, no matter how detailed her presentation, and I'm sure you would too.

3. Colours.

Honestly, people. Why on earth would you choose a GREY background for your powerpoint? The whole idea is to attract the attention of your audience - an all-grey background is hardly stimulating to the senses. Don't be afraid to use your creativity and use lots of colours - if, like me, you lack the creative skills to do so, just go download some interesting free powerpoint templates. They're a dime a dozen, and it's not hard to get some really good ones.

4. Confidence.

This part, I still have trouble with. My heart rate still speeds up before a presentation, my voice still trembles and stutters, I still get flustered and forget half of what I wanted to say. But I can say that with each presentation, it gets better - at least now you know your weak points, and you can try to rectify them. For my nervousness I try to concentrate on my breathing before my turn, it helps a little bit but I eventually get nervous again anyway. :P Just remember that everyone had to go through this at some point or other. Concentrate on giving them the facts and presenting it in a way that you would want to listen to.

This is another good reason for making your slides as colourful and picture-filled as you can - it takes more pressure off you and focuses the attention of the audience onto the slides.

I hope these tips were helpful! They certainly do help me a lot in my presentations.

Sleepypurry.

2009-05-28T00:53:00.001-07:00

After doing much research I have come to a conclusion:

Cute guys have very weird names.

That is all. :P

On another note, I'm rather worried about my COM assignment (the only one I haven't gotten back yet) because I am pretty sure I screwed up the referencing.

Oh well. You can be sure I won't screw it up the second time.

:)

2009-05-22T00:41:00.000-07:00

With reference to the Streamyx problem, turns out that TMnet migrated the server for Bandar Utama, and forgot to change the IP address or something. This means basically that the technician came over, typed a few numbers, and was all fixed in 5 minutes. After one effing week of calling them.

Sometimes I really have nothing to say.

But anyway, today is Friday, most of my essay assignments are done, I have two more presentations that I need to do, and exams are coming up soon. Despite the last minute nature of my assignments I still hope they're okay, at least I had a (sort of) legitimate excuse this time! I am playing Achaea, feeling mildly sleepy, and enjoying my 'do nothing day'. *grin*

I think I've earned a do nothing day after all the assignments! (Although yes, I know it doesn't compare to UniSAians, but still :P)

I have talked about this a lot before but I am really enjoying life in Monash. It's not easy, it's never easy, but I really enjoy learning now. In school it used to be like we were learning for the sake of exams, not for the sake of learning, and I was just trying to stuff everything into my head. Now we can actually have our own opinions, we can debate, we can talk, we can LEARN. I come back from uni every day with a smile on my face and a feeling of sheer contentment.

I am happy. :) It's been a while since I ever truly was.

On a side note, happy 19th birthday to dear SARAH, who is celebrating with UniSAians in Pyramid now! I'm sorry I couldn't make it! (If you read this blog) but many happy returns all the same, and may your life only get better from here. :) I promise I haven't forgotten you! Don't feel shy to poke me with your birthdays - I am notoriously bad at remembering them.

My Journalism lecturer, who was previously arrested on charges of sedition (see two posts below) invited me and a few other coursemates to dinner with his friends and family as thanks for supporting him during his time in custody, which I thought was very sweet. :) Unfortunately I am probably going to have to pass that up as I have a family function (learning to wrap bachang) but the thought behind it is sweet. :)

My life isn't perfect, but I like it how it is now.

Where, oh where is my Internet?

2009-05-13T18:44:00.000-07:00

I am depressed.

The Internet at my house hasn't been working for almost four days now (today is the 4th, I suppose) and I am facing severe Internet withdrawal symptoms.

It's always been such a constant, taken-for-granted thing that when it's not there, you just feel...lost. You don't even have to be on the Internet 24/7 (like I generally am) but to know that all the information you could need for last-minute assignments is there is generally reassuring. Now I feel like I've been cut off from the world. I even find myself sleeping early because there honestly is nothing to do.

HOW AM I GOING TO DO MY 2300 WORD FTV ASSIGNMENT?!?!

....T_T I want my Internet back.

The modem seems to be working fine..I just can't connect to the stupid Internet. I emailed TMnet and they said there was no service interruption anywhere and to email them back with further details..I WONDER HOW I'M GOING TO DO THAT WITHOUT INTERNET??? (That, and I don't know my account number)

Sigh. T_T

An Interview.

2009-05-06T02:18:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many of you have read this interview with Dr. Mahathir's son, Mukhriz Mahathir, with The Nut Graph in March this year. It's a little outdated, I know, but I do think you should read it.

http://thenutgraph.com/mukhriz-malay-dominance-rights

If you can't be bothered to click on the link, here is the article in full.

Malay dominance and rights

13 Mar 09 : 8.00AM

By Deborah Loh
deborahloh@thenutgraph.com

IN five short years, Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir has emerged from the sidelines in Umno to be a Member of Parliament (MP) for Jerlun, and now a popular candidate in the Umno Youth chief race.

Despite his soft-spoken demeanour, he has not shied away from controversy, no less because of his ties to his outspoken father, retired Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

In the 2006 Umno general assembly, Mukhriz wasn't reticent about expressing disappointment with Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's presidential speech. He called it unoriginal, sparking a wave of protests from some quarters within Umno.

In 2008, soon after the March general election, Mukhriz, by then an Umno Youth executive council member, became one of the early voices to call for Abdullah's resignation following the Barisan Nasional (BN)'s dismal performance. He wrote Abdullah a letter, exposed on the internet, which told Abdullah resigning would be the "honourable thing" to do.

In the second part of an exclusive interview with The Nut Graph conducted on 3 March, Mukhriz revisits his controversial statement about closing down vernacular schools in favour of a single-education system. He voices his concerns about Malay Malaysians being left behind, and talks about the Perak impasse. Mukhriz also shares how he views himself as a politician in a changing Malaysia — whether as a Malay one first, or as a Malaysian.

TNG: You've said a weak BN is partly the result of a weak Umno. But the other component parties have said that Umno is like a bully, and that it doesn't treat other BN parties as equals. What is ailing the coalition as a whole?

Mukhriz Mahathir: That's a very unfair statement. We've been extremely tolerant. I admit sometimes the rhetoric can be quite heated, but it has been that way for some time. It was from 2006 [onwards] when we had a live telecast of our general assembly, which [had] never been done before [then].

And we aired for public viewing the kind of rhetoric we use in our closed-door meeting. I thought it was funny, that at the start of the proceedings the media reps were asked to leave the hall, and the doors would shut closed, and then ... it was live! (Laughs incredulously) It was even on the internet. I thought it was just insane. I know we're in this era of transparency and openness, but that was too much.

Unfortunately, the kinds of things said in the meeting brought out some adverse reactions from other people. But I think the general assemblies of other political parties are equal ... if not worse rhetoric is used, but their meetings are not aired live. In some cases, it's in a language that Malays don't understand, so we're not able to respond in kind to the things being said in their meetings. So I think it is unfair.

Umno being the dominant party within the BN, right from the word go, we were open to, in fact we propagated this whole idea of power-sharing within the BN. And we defend that all the time by making sure that the number of seats allocated during the general election meets the requirements of all the parties involved.

Secondly, we do not practise a policy of assimilation. We consider the Malay culture as being the dominant one, but we do not force it on anyone. You do not see us going the way of Indonesia or Thailand, where other races are expected to immerse themselves into the dominant culture to the extent that their original cultures are nonexistent.

I felt quite insulted when Lim Kit Siang in Parliament congratulated the Americans for picking Barack Obama as the president, although he's black. And he went on to say, when is Malaysia going to do the same? I thought that was uncalled for, because do you see anything African about Obama? Does he even speak a word of Kenyan? You see in Obama an American leader who will always have American interests ahead of everything else, and because of that you don't see the colour of his skin.

Here in Malaysia, the constitution doesn't specify that the prime minister has to be a Malay or bumiputera. But until the time comes when it doesn't matter what your name is, even if it's not an Ahmad or a Mohamad or an Abdullah, but if people can see that you are a truly Malaysian leader, and you take care of the interest of everyone, including the Malays, I think the Malays won't have a problem picking that person as prime minister.

But how is that going to happen when we have problems with different school systems going their own separate ways, in different languages, different cultures, and then expect them to integrate when they get into university? By then it's far too late already.

You can't expect people to unite once they've passed their impressionable years in primary and secondary schools, and then complain about, "Oh, when is the time when non-Malays can become the prime minister?" I think that's too much to ask if you still want to defend the vernacular schools.

You are referring to your controversial statement calling for a single education system, which would in effect close down vernacular education. You were seen as shoring up support for your Umno Youth chief bid.

I said it with national integration in mind. We have never gone so far as to say that the non-Malay cultures should not be practised. We've always thrived on the diversity that we have. That's why it's integration. It's not necessarily unity. But national integration is something you start from the ground up.

And I find it odd and ironic that in the Dewan Rakyat, everyone from both sides of the fence complains about polarisation. But when I suggest something to address this issue, they start jumping on me. And I thought it was odd because I don't hear anyone else suggesting an alternative idea. I'm ready to listen to suggestions. Mine seems to be the only idea that has been mooted, but so many out there are against it, and I find that very strange because if you look at other countries in the region, the education system is key in promoting integration among people.

But many Malay and Indian Malaysian parents send their kids to Chinese schools because national schools are not up to par. Shouldn't we address that first?

I admit there is an issue there. And I'm all for improving our national schools. But the excuse that I hear being used as an argument against my idea is that they want to defend their right to teach in their respective languages and to maintain their cultures.

It's not about the national schools being okay or not. I expect that if we improve our national schools, then perhaps many will come back. Having said that, our national schools are not so bad compared to some schools in neighbouring countries; the kind of results we get are a lot better. (HA. I'm really interested in knowing which schools in other countries he's comparing ours with.)

But it's not just academic performance that concerns non-Muslim parents; it's fears about Islamisation in schools.

I've heard that. I've talked to quite a number of non-Muslims about this and they complain, for example, about the school assembly. They don't mind that you start off with a doa. But even the principal's speech has religious tones. And they're not comfortable with that. I think we can look into this and try and improve.

About the NEP, Datuk Seri Najib Razak and Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin have both said aspects of NEP need to be removed or reviewed, but gradually. Your position?

I think that this whole philosophy of growth with equity needs to be continued. I agree that there may be some focus that may need to change to adapt to the current situation in order to move forward. But the main philosophy, I can't see it changing.

Because the disparity that we find between the races is still there. We've been very successful in eradicating poverty among all races. That's a huge success story emulated by other developing countries. But in terms of restructuring society, in terms of providing enough jobs for bumiputeras so that they can be in high productivity segments of the economy that give them enough income, I think we're still behind.

As MP for Jerlun now, it's more apparent to me that there is a certain segment of society that seems to be left behind. I'd like to see what Najib and Muhyiddin mean by certain amendments to the NEP. Because if it means that, for example, we're going to stick with growth at all cost, I think this is going to be a problem if the economy grows fast but we leave the disenfranchised behind.

In 1990, at the end of the NEP, we did that. The distribution [of wealth] part was made second fiddle, and we just focused on growth. And at that time it was necessary because economic growth worldwide was at unprecedented levels and we didn't want to miss the boat. We needed to get on the bandwagon and attract foreign investment. So we moved away from commodities to manufacturing in a big way. And we were extremely successful then. But at the same time, although more jobs were created, the involvement of bumiputera in high-growth areas was still very lacking.

It shows you that when the NEP was being implemented fully, it was not just the Malays benefiting from it. The government was focused on ensuring that the economic pie was growing bigger, and obviously non-Malays benefited from it as well.

Secondly, the emergence of a Malay middle class provided a market for non-Malays to tap from. If in '69 when the riots happened, sundry shops and cars were destroyed, you could be sure that these shops and these cars did not belong to the Malays. But now try and do that, and more often than not, the Malays would be affected because we've done quite well throughout these years. (I have absolutely no words for this paragraph.) And I think it's all due to policies like the NEP.

Do you think cronyism and corruption in government and in Umno are what's causing problems to the NEP's implementation?

Yes. That's where a good policy like the NEP gets derailed.

How should Umno address it?

It's not easy, when one has to make a choice between one bumi and another bumi, one is going to be very happy and the other is not. And there will be accusations of cronyism and such. If you see that only a certain few benefit from government policies, then you know there's something wrong with the implementation. But still, in that sense, I think there needs to be enlightened leadership to make sure that people have a certain trust in the system.

You know, this thing about defending the Malays when we are a multiracial nation... On the Perak crisis, you recently called for the Sedition Act to be used against Karpal Singh. That kind of remark gets a lot of support within Umno, but non-Malay [Malaysians] watching don't feel comfortable. How do you see yourself — are you a Malay politician first, or a politician for all Malaysians?

You know, Umno equals Malay. It's a Malay party. And therefore we are expected to hold the interest of the Malays first. I'm unapologetic about that because the Malays, after all, constitute the majority of the population. And I think the majority has certain rights. And this is prevalent even in other countries.

But at the same time, the minorities also have certain rights, so this is something we must protect and preserve. I consider myself a Malay politician first because I firmly believe if the Malays are on a good footing, it will never be at the expense of other races. And the other races benefit from it also.

When the Malays feel that their rights are not being protected, that they are constantly under siege, I cannot see how the country can be stable. It's happened in some countries before where the majority loses control over their political power because they are weak economically. That's happened in Fiji, in Papua New Guinea, and to some extent in Sri Lanka. And I don't see how we can let that happen in Malaysia.

I know my comment about Karpal Singh was not taken lightly by certain people. But people consider me a moderate; I'm not associated with extreme views, so if a person like me can say such a thing, imagine what people who have stronger views than me are thinking. I think it is better for me to say these things than to let the far, far right take things into their own hands.

It's the same thing when I brought up the issue of a one-school system. For the six months preceding it, we felt really under siege because one after another, leaders who should know better, coming from BN component parties, were making very hurtful statements.

They were questioning the social contract, they were recommending for the 30% bumi equity to be taken away. There was a statement that the Malays too are immigrants, and there was a question about Ketuanan Melayu, and all this went unanswered by Umno. How much tolerance can we handle? (Seems to me like it's still not being answered.) At the same time I find that a lot of Malays were feeling very disappointed with Umno for not defending our rights.

So I thought, okay, enough is enough. I brought up the issue for the schools, and I think it had an effect in that people stopped talking about these things.

One other example: MCA from Jerlun put out a statement in Nanyang Siang Pau that they regret having voted for me in the 2008 general election because of my statement. And to me, that's exactly right, that when their own MP or their own representative says something that they don't like, that they should feel some regret and that it should be a lesson to the MP to always consider the feelings of their voters.

Because those incendiary statements by other MPs, some of them deputy minister and even ministers, some of them component party leaders, saying hurtful things about the Malays, and yet they were elected in constituencies that had Malay-majorities... did they have any qualms saying those things? Shouldn't we be asking the Malays in those constituencies if they regret voting for those MPs? You don't see Umno leaders in those constituencies making statements that they regret having voted for their MPs. So that's the kind of tolerance we have and we hope others will also temper their statements.

A lot of people say, oh, it's time for multiracial politics. Well, the other BN components are definitely representing their respective races. The way I see it, MCA, Gerakan and DAP, all three of them are racing to show that they are championing important causes for the Chinese, so why shouldn't Umno continue being a Malay party?

As long as there's economic disparity, there will always be a need for a political party like Umno that represents the interest of the Malays. If there is total equality, especially in economic terms, then I think the Malays themselves will feel that we no longer need the NEP, we no longer feel we need a Malay party like Umno, and it will come naturally.

Can it come naturally when you've been so used to it?

It's not going to be possible as long as the Malays feel that they are economically behind. The playing field is not even. We need government policies that even out, that give us a bit of a handicap so that we can compete on a meaningful basis. If that is not sorted out, then forever we'll have race-based politics.

The prevailing mentality in Umno Youth now is to rally support for the Perak Sultan and defend the royal institution. It appears hypocritical to outsiders, because under your father's time, laws were made to curb the powers of royals. And now, in the Perak crisis, it appears convenient to justify the BN's takeover by hiding behind the Sultan.

I see a very vast difference between what was done then and now. At that time, there was the issue of laws being passed in Parliament not getting the approval of the Yang Di-Pertuan Agong in a timely fashion. A law was passed so that within 60 days, after Parliament passes a law, if it's still not signed, it's considered approved and gazetted.

The other thing was when it came to criminal matters, if we had royalty who was involved in criminal activity, he would not be able to seek refuge by way of his standing as royalty. And there would be a special tribunal to handle these sort of cases. I think that's fair. Even the Conference of Rulers accepted it. That in no way took away their standing as rulers. And in no way were we disrespectful of royalty.

But now [in the Perak crisis], a commoner has questioned the position of the Sultan. I think that really runs against all that we hold important in this country, the Rukunegara, the federal constitution, and I think that's too much.

But it wasn't a questioning of the Sultan's position, it was a questioning of his decision not to dissolve the state legislative assembly.

But he has the absolute right. The way I see it, the decision made by the Sultan of Perak was in accordance with the state constitution, and I don't see what Tuanku did as favouring us (the BN) particularly. And I might add, this whole idea of party-hopping was never one that we propagated in the first place.

The political situation in Perak is in an even worse mess now, with so many suits being filed. The situation is so unprecedented that don't you think snap state elections is the best way to resolve things?

No (chuckles). I mean, I think it is still within our constitutional right to take over the state that way. Because as it is, the law as it stands right now, party-hopping is not unlawful. It is still considered a part of democracy.

I'm just hoping that everything cools down because we really ought to get back to work. Because by now a lot of people are pretty sick and tired of politics from both sides. (Me me me, I so am.) They don't really care for the BN, nor do they care for the opposition parties. And I feel for them. I remember this advertisement taken out by a concerned citizen pleading for politicians to not lose the plot, and at this particular moment it's the economic crisis that we should be looking at.

____________________________________________________________________________

I really don't know what to say about this interview. I highlighted the ones that caught my eye in red. Make of it what you will!

Black on Thursday!

2009-05-06T00:01:00.001-07:00

As an addendum to the previous post, I will be sure to wear black on Thursday. Those who bothered to read the news on page 2 of the Star today, or read the online link at http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/5/6/nation/3843049&sec=nation , you know what I'm talking about. ;)

Join the Black Protest!

Media freedom, yep.

2009-05-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

So there I was, still online for some inexplicable reason at 1.30 am this morning, thinking I'd be a good girl and go read some news in anticipation of the current affairs quiz that my lecturer usually gives every week during the tutorial, which was later today.

I type in the Star's website address, wait for it to load...

And BAM.Absolutely flabbergasted.

That's the lecturer I was talking about, by the way. He teaches me Journalism - Newsroom Practice and Theory. It was headline news when I was reading it, bumped down now, but still huge, huge news for me. I was going nuts last night, and there weren't many people to go nuts with me!!

I never really cared very much about the ISA and everything besides your standard person's dislike, but this has really changed everything. However, a reporter who used to be a Monash student says that he is due to be released in the evening, which is a relief.

Yay, media freedom in Malaysia.

:(((((

2009-05-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

I am sad. :(

I got a 'pay' cut today. :((

My monthly allowance has now shrunk by RM60. T_T

*kwies*

On the bright side, I don't have to pay for petrol any more..but dad paid for it most of the time anyway! And realizing that you now have RM60 less to spend, even if you did spend it on gas, is somehow depressing :(

I am sad.

Although it probably could also be because of the fact that I only got 3 hours sleep yesterday due to rushing an assignment (yay for last minute work, as usual!) and then I have to wake up at 4am later to...I don't know what. I can't possibly write an entire 1500 word essay on 'who started the cold war' without reading the stuff properly..and my friend wants the book I need back tomorrow.

Woe. :(

UniSAians, I salute you - I hate assignments.

Not Rape.

2009-05-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

To all girls out there who might be reading my blog, I just wanted to share this link with you:

http://www.racialicious.com/2008/12/21/original-essay-the-not-rape-epidemic/

As you can see from the link, it includes some '18 and above' details so be careful about where you read it. Nothing too explicit, but the subject itself is sensitive.

Basically, it's a very powerful essay, written by Latoya Peterson and featured in a book named 'Yes Means Yes', an anthology on the so-called 'rape culture'. I don't think I need to explain that much.

We all know what rape is. But how many of us know what 'not rape' is? How many of us know that 'not rape' is still a violation of our rights, how many of us have kept quiet about 'minor' things because 'Oh, well, it's not rape or anything, boys will be boys I guess..'?

Girls, please take 5 minutes out to read this article - it's well worth your while. Boys, please read this and please, please, never be part of the reason this article was written. Look out for your sisters, protect your girl-friends, be a gentleman and use your common sense.

Of thumbdrives and smart, pretty, SINGLE ladies.

2009-04-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

I lost my pendrive today. x.x I am angry with myself. How could I be so careless as to not pull it out before I left! Last time it was attached to my nametag, so at least if I did lose it they'd know who to call. Now it's just a pendrive, with no name or anything, and it's lost.

Ughhhhh. :( Let's just hope whoever found it was nice and returned it to Lost and Found. It's not an awfully huge pendrive either..just 2 GB. Monashians don't need to steal a 2G pendrive..do they?

*prays* If I find my pendrive again, I will put some sort of identification on it and I will not forget to pull it out again.

In other news:

For my Journalism assignment, we need to do a profile on someone interesting. So I figure, I'm going to do a profile on one of Dad's friends, who happens to be a partner in a big company. (I'm not exactly sure what it does..but it has a lot of branches) They keep going on about how huge a deal it is that she managed to get to that position, so gee, I guess she has to be really important! (This is sarcasm by the way)

Over dinner, Dad was telling us how she used to be the prettiest girl in their school, and how all the guys (including his friends, and possibly..himself? XD But ew, I just don't want to think about that) were so into her, but everyone was so intimidated by her (apparently she was/IS really smart too...some people just get everything) that nobody dared to ask her out. This apparently carried over to adult life, where she's still very pretty, according to my parents, and as you can see, very, very successful.

However, she isn't married.

I find that a little sad, in a way. Oh, I'm by no means condemning her for not being married or anything. It's really great that she managed to do so well for herself, all BY herself, and she's really set a good example for aspiring young ladies (like me!) But isn't it a little tragic that she's missing out on the opportunity to start a family, just because men are so intimidated by her that they don't even dare to ask her out? I mean, she's supposedly the whole package, and more - but apparently men don't WANT the perfect package...

...because they're scared of it?

I wonder if she misses it, somehow. I could be totally wrong and she could be enjoying her life just as it is, thank you very much. But wow..it just says something when a perfectly eligible, more than competent woman is still single despite such an attractive package because men are used to being the powerful ones. Suddenly, when the woman reigns, their sense of equilibrium falls apart and their world crumbles. XD

Okay, being a little melodramatic there. But still! Something to ponder about and probably related to gender equality issues, but I'm sleepy so you can figure that out yourself.

New pet peeve.

2009-04-26T23:19:00.000-07:00

You know one thing I really hate?

When people look at you, think you're not important enough, then look right THROUGH you as you walk right NEXT to them, even though you're in the same class, same tutorial, or have been in the same school. Until you actually walk up to them, wave in their face and say 'Hi!' and then they have no choice but to acknowledge you. Or the friend that they're with decides to say hi to you, and then they really can't ignore you without being rude.

God, I bloody hate these people. HATE.

I'm quiet, but I'm not invisible, am I? :(

Deja vu.

2009-04-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

I am rather sad.

Nobody wants to go to Melbourne in the second year with me :(

Everyone either doesn't want to go, or is planning on taking the exchange program in their last year, which would financially be the more logical choice (except if I do exchange, I'd be going to Gippsland anyway, which is 160km away from Melbourne and really gives me NO CHOICE but to do a transfer)

By all accounts I SHOULD go next year. I should, I really should. I should go for the exposure and whatnot and everything I've been dreaming about since I was stuck in the hot, dreary classes of high school ignoring the teacher scribbling on the chalkboard. But now that I actually have a chance to do it...

I'm scared. :(

I'm not like other people who have a million friends in Melbourne and have a ready made support group whenever they go down there..I have -acquaintances-, sure, but who'll I call if I have an accident? Who'm I going to complain to if I can't deal with the Monash workload? Who am I going to stick to in campus so I don't look like so much of an outsider? :( These, for the average teenagers, are really real concerns that parents just tend to dismiss and say 'Oh, you'll make new friends', which is why I've been so reluctant to do that comparison chart that Mom keeps insisting will be better able to help me make the choice. Sigh.

I think they overestimate my capability to make friends.

On one of my recent visits back to Taylor's, Mr Winston said I was 'an academic'. He didn't clarify why, but after thinking about it a bit, I guess I am rather, in a way. I'm kind of introverted, which is by no means a requirement for being an academic, but it certainly wouldn't help me in the PR department. I'm trying to conquer that, and I think I'm doing pretty well, I don't hyperventilate during presentations or forget (all) my points now..but it's simply not in my -nature- to be extroverted, you know? I'm just not that kind of person. I can be loud and crazy if you wanted, but it just wouldn't be -me-. And I think people know this, and wouldn't buy it :P

It doesn't help when you have kind of a soft voice, either.

I hate my voice.

And my nose.

And my eyes.

And my teeth.

And my hair.

And my toes. (I know, random but I do, they're the reason I can't wear normal flats)

Oh, it's not like I'll be completely friendless in Melbourne, I know, but I've got no one in Monash, and I think that's what matters the most. If I had one..just ONE friend who was going to come down with me, I wouldn't hesitate at all and would be more than happy to come down next year.

But noooo, instead I find myself in the same dilemma as I did last year - only with less justification to come, because the campus and environment here is way, way better than Taylors', which was part of the reason I wanted to leave.

ARGHHHHHH. :( What do I do?!

Placeholder!

2009-04-20T03:42:00.001-07:00

I decided I needed to put something new on my blog, otherwise every time I come to my blog I'll be staring at the pictures of Kelly. I was quite upset that night, even decided to skip COM1010 *cough* and sleep in because I hadn't been sleeping well and I still had the Journalism assignment to do. Typical me.

Anyway, after nearly hitting two cars today due to not concentrating on the road (with my mom beside me too *cough*) I figured that life still goes on. I guess Kelly didn't have too bad a life while he was with us - it could have been better, yes, but we didn't kick him out of the house or anything, and we did feed him and give him pets and such..so I guess that makes me feel better in a way.

On to other topics..it's rather depressing to have your next assignmentS (yes, all lovely four of them) due in two weeks right after you've finished the last of the first batch. Plus, as this is your second assignment, it's going to be doubly hard, too. Sigh.

I'm still reluctant to make that comparison chart listing out the pros and cons of staying or going to Australia, simply because I know it won't help due to the myriad underlying factors that I can't exactly put in there. Some my parents would just discount, and some..well, just can't be said, for now. For instance, if I told them that one of my reasons for not wanting to go down is because I'd be all on my lonesome, they'd dismiss it and go, 'Ha, I went down to Singapore by myself, knowing NOBODY at all and only RM500 to my name!' I mean, yeah, you were brave, I know, but you're you, and that was then. It's really not the same.

Also, I guess there's the small matter of not knowing how to cook *cough* But I guess as Tao said I should really learn...just lazy >< Cooking is not a subject that interests me..eating, on the other hand..hehehe.

Yes I'm a scaredy cat X.X

For you, Kelly.

2009-04-19T03:16:00.000-07:00

Ever since we moved house, we've been wondering what to do with Kelly, the cat that I got from my best friend as a present during my 18th birthday. Nobody wanted to take him in, apparently PAWS doesn't take strays (or euthanizes them after a period of time) and well..we couldn't just leave him there.

We came back about twice, thrice every week to the old house to clean it up and feed Kelly, and each time he was really happy to see us (well, living in a house all by yourself can be lonely) and eventually we decided to bring him here, to Bandar Utama, and set him in the alley behind us. We might be able to feed him at night, we reasoned, and it was better than just leaving him here.

Days passed, and somehow we never got around to bringing him here. Earlier this week, when I went back, I noticed his food was low. He wasn't there in the house. Thinking he'd just gone exploring, I left. This morning, my maid came to me and asked, "Did you throw Kelly away already?" Surprised, I shook my head no, and she said he hadn't been in the house - and his food was uneaten still.

That should have raised warning bells in my head, but he's been known to go missing for days at a time when he was exploring on the roof, so I didn't think much of it..until my dad called barely 10 minutes earlier. Apparently a neighbour had seen the body of a cat that looked much like Kelly, dead..in a drain or in the road, I don't know. I wouldn't have thought much of it until my dad said that the neighbour had asked, 'Does your cat have a collar?' and since I don't know any other black cats that have collars, and Kelly has been missing..there is really only one inevitable conclusion.

Kelly, I'm sorry I was such a horrible owner. I'm sorry I didn't take better care of you, I'm sorry I didn't bring you over here earlier like I promised. I'm sorry for abandoning you and leaving you alone in the house for so long. I feel like I was given a second chance ever since Sabre died..and I blew it. Again. I'm sorry I shut you out when you wanted to come upstairs and rub around my feet, I'm sorry I didn't pet you because you got hairs on my clothing.

I'm still hoping that it wasn't you, Kelly, I really am. But if it was..I hope wherever you are, you're somewhere happier now, and even though I know it really doesn't make a difference at this stage - I'm really, really sorry, Kelly.

Our 'problem' has been solved - but I don't feel any happier because of it.

You know what the sad part is? The sad part is that I'm going to go downstairs, with my eyes and nose red, and my mom is going to ask why I cried, and I'm going to say it's because of Kelly, and she's going to scoff and say 'Well, you never really took care of him anyway' or she's going to say 'Well, he's already dead, no use crying about it.'

I feel like the world's biggest jerk.

Friends? I think not.

2009-04-19T01:18:00.000-07:00

Some of you know this already, but I am vastly intolerant of clingy exes. Yup. I have no desire to reconcile with them at all, UNLESS we were very good friends in the beginning. I'm a believer in the 'clean break' idea - I think that 'being best friends' is a sad way to attempt to still have a connection together. There's no point giving someone false hope if the feelings aren't there any more - I'd rather lose a friend than let it drag on and on and on and full of guilt and pain and whatnot.

Yes, I have a very low pain threshold.

I've had guys in the past ask me if they could be 'best friends' with me (this includes my ex) after the relationship/attempt at starting relationships didn't work out. Don't you think there's something wrong with this reasoning? If I had originally been best friends with you, sure, it might still be a valid question. "Okay, so we won't work as boyfriend/girlfriend, but maybe we can still be best friends?' But after a rejection/break up, what possible incentive could I have to 'magically' become 'best friends' with you? If I wasn't best friends with you before, why on earth would I want to suddenly become best friends with you because...I rejected you??

And they say GIRLS are hard to understand.

My current best friends have been with me in the same secondary school for 5 years, same class for 2 years, sat together for 2 years, been in the same societies for 3 years, etc. 'Best friend' status isn't something you can just give away overnight, you know. You don't 'magically' know everything I'm thinking and feeling just because hey, you're my best friend today!

Things just don't work like that.

Yes, I am cruel, and admittedly kind of mean and cowardly *cough* when it comes to rejection and breaking up. (Sue me, I hate confrontations) But seriously, I think it's for the better in the long run - why not force him to get over you quicker so that he can pursue someone else? Why continue to give him false hope by maintaining a 'close' relationship and letting him think he still has a chance? I abhor people who string other people along, and I have no intention of being someone like that.

Even if you were best friends before, but had a messy breakup, you'd still need some time away from each other to recover, heal, reconcile with yourself, and THEN only can you begin to try and repair the relationship between you two - and then maybe it can be saved. If in your heart you still have a lot of hurt, still pine for him/her, still think about him/her all the time - how can you even try to want to be 'just friends' with him/her when you can't even think of him/her in that way? And if he/she rejects your offer at friendship, it really might not be because 'you're not ready to be friends again' but maybe because YOU yourself are not ready to accept that he/she genuinely does not want you in their lives any more.

It's a long story. ;)

sparkles

2009-04-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

According to Joelle, my new turquoise and silver glittery eyeliner (yes, eyeLINER) makes my eyes look 'way biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr'.

I'm normally not one to buy makeup but when I was playing with these in a shop in Tropicana City *cough* (well..when else do you get to try on makeup??) they looked really good together and I really couldn't decide which to get so I got both. *shifty*

What do you think? :P

Of Monash and April babies!

2009-04-17T02:09:00.001-07:00

Yes, people. I am updating.

Shock!!

*grin*

As those in Taylor's already know, I have been back recently to interview people for my Journalism assignments - which, if you're curious, are two hard news stories, both 300 words each. This may sound simple, but I assure you, according to the teacher's guidelines it is most definitely not. I challenge you - do you have the bravery to walk into high end stores in 1 Utama alone, and ask for interviews even knowing that these people will usually reject you? That's what I had to do, and although 8 out of 10 shops refused to talk to me, at least I tried!

Which is quite an achievement for a girl who used to get up on stage for a storytelling competition, and immediately forgot half the words because she was so scared.

I've come a long way since then. ;)

I have blisters on my feet thanks to my pretty but utterly useless for walking new shoes, which is why I'm lying in bed instead of doing my assignment like I should. *coughs*

Okay, people have asked me about Monash. Evidently people didn't bother to read the facts about Monash that I posted earlier, but since I'm so nice, I'll repeat them for you. :P

Monash costs 81k (for Bachelor of Arts) over 3 years. If you go to Australia, you pay the same number, but in Aussie dollars.
Monash has wonderful infrastructure. I haven't seen Taylor's new campus yet, but if I'd stayed at Taylor's I'd have gone the second year and not be able to see the new campus anyway. :P
Monash lecturers are awesome. But so are Taylor's lecturers, so please, seriously. Stop giving them grief.
Monash is really a place to study, which is good for me :P

Truthfully, yes, the classes have been really interesting but they've also required a lot of focus. If you don't listen during the lectures, you're pretty screwed in tutorials. *cough* They're not easy readings either!!

Monash students are also..quite different from Taylors. Very competitive and *cough* are a hell of a lot more hardworking than meeeee. But no, there are no Sams or Sarahs or Siew Lings or Viviennes or Patricks here :P

On a side note, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY to Vivienne!! Everyone wish her happy birthday if you see her! Sorry I couldn't make it to your party! (Use the glitter la, I'll show you where to buy it :P)

HAPPY I-don't-know-how-old BIRTHDAY to Jared, whom you all will not know because he is my Achaean friend :P Don't get too drunk and fight again!!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to Leng Jie, who doesn't read this blog but was my Police Cadet senior! Stay pretty and happy!

Also HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to Kaley!! Have a great birthday and may all your wishes come true!

Phew, I think that's about it. So many April babies!

Fragmented thoughts.

2009-03-09T08:09:00.000-07:00

When you're feeling down, and everything seems bleak and you feel like the most wretched person on Earth, that's when it's time to count your blessings.

Actually, scratch that - count your blessings every day. They make you happier.

I have:

1 amazing boyfriend.
2 incredible best friends.
3 wonderful family members...

And the rest don't make sense so let's just leave it at that :P

As the above know, I can get very introspective and depressed sometimes when I reflect on my life. There's always something, somewhere, that I can't measure up to, especially in terms of popularity and such. I get very insecure at times when I reflect on things like that, but too often I forget to look at the other side - that I am in fact, compared to far too many people, very blessed. Balance is important - never get too arrogant to assume the title of 'the best', but also never downgrade yourself and stomp yourself down, as Asians are wont to do. Believe in yourself and your abilities, and sometimes you might even surprise yourself.

Life goes on, with or without you. Until someone invents a time machine, there isn't any way to go but forward. The past is gone, but the future is still a mystery - so why not try to make it a better one? Agonizing over past mistakes does nothing to help anyone and only makes your present miserable.

So, abstract thoughts aside, the question on a lot of people's minds is: How was Monash?

Well...it's tough. :P

The competition is a lot different, a lot stronger, a lot more dynamic, a lot more versatile. Monash students are not people you can take lightly - of course they're not all geniuses or anything, but you do have a greater pool of contenders who are all incredibly driven.

I feel so average now. ._.

I won't compare Monash lecturers and Taylor's lecturers because both are amazing in their own ways. I will say one thing though - Monash really challenges your thinking every step of the way. No view is too conventional or too bizarre, the only thing that matters is that you HAVE a view and aren't afraid to express it.

We're supposed to do a lot of reading, too, before tutorials. Bye bye slacker lifestyle. :(

Sleeping early is also such a new thing to me all over again. X.x

Assignments. ASSIGNMENTS.

That is all. Enjoy uni life people! And to those not yet in uni...enjoy your time while you can. Seriously.

Taylorian Dedications

2009-02-22T05:43:00.000-08:00

Orientation for Monash starts tomorrow, for a whole week. I think those of you in Taylor's should be starting your degree next week, so have fun and good luck! It will be weird not to be joining you all back in the classrooms of LCS, and seeing Ms Catherine and Mr Winston and such again. (And no, for the last time, there is no way I can cancel my application to Monash :P)

It's been a fun time with all of you, I've learnt a lot while I was in Taylor's and made some good friends. I will most likely be going to Melbourne in my third year now anyway, so there's still 2 years to see each other around, and make dates to go to Sunway or something! (Maybe I'll even drop by for hawker food in LCS and such!)

Hmmm..since I'm very hungry and can't really concentrate much, I shall make some short dedications to the people of Taylor's!

Thank you Ms Catherine for being the best English teacher I have had in recent times (I kid you not) and for being incredibly supportive. You are a great person, strict yet kind, which is a great blend! Thank you for being an awesome lecturer and a wonderful person.

Thank you Mr Winston for being a funny, knowledgeable, understanding, all around cool lecturer and friend! He actually called me one night after learning that I was going to go to Monash! I was so touched. :D (I still haven't forgiven you for not coming to my graduation!)

Thank you Mr Philip for making Social Psychology, an otherwise tough subject, easier for us to understand and digest. You made SP really interesting for me and I always tried to listen in your lectures (unless I was really really tired). You really knew your stuff, which seems to be a common strength amongst Taylor's lecturers! (This is a compliment to all you lecturers, by the way, I'm not doing propaganda for Taylor's or anything) I will miss you and your Psychology classes.

Thank you Ms T for just being completely awesome. Human Communications, while to many lengthy and dry, could not have had a cooler lecturer to teach. Thank you for coming to our events and supporting us!

Thank you Ms Natasha for the field trip to the National Geographic thing, it was great! You made Malaysian Media History really interesting and relevant: When I saw this subject in my schedule for that semester I was convinced that it was going to be extremely boring, coupled with Malaysian Studies, but under you, not so! Thank you for making it interesting and relevant to our course.

Thank you Mr Ben for being one of the sweetest lecturers that had the misfortune to teach our class. Since I'm not in Taylor's any more, I can say this with no regrets: To those of you who constantly put Mr Ben down, who teased and taunted him behind his back, who imitated him thinking it was the funniest joke in the world and made noise without regard for him in his class: Shame on you. All lecturers deserve at least the minimum amount of self-respect, and Mr Ben did nothing to warrant such behaviour. He really knew his stuff and was always helpful in regards to assignments and exams. As a further point, a lecturer not wishing to give out tips for exams is their prerogative. I cannot believe the complete selfishness of certain students, whom upon not being able to coax any tips out of Mr Ben, proceeded to mouth him behind his back and even told him 'So and so lecturer gives tips, so should you!' Please. Have some dignity. You're an (at the time) 18 year old now. Grow up.

To all the other lecturers that I didn't mention: Thank you for playing a part in teaching me! I might not have known you well enough to dedicate anything to you, but you were a part of my memories and did your job in imparting your knowledge to me, for which I thank you and apologize if I ever gave you trouble!

Now for coursemates!

Thank you to Vivienne for being an awesome friend. (There, your name is grey :P) Thanks for letting us use your house as the location for filming for Jiwa Baru! (Gosh I really hope I don't have to do anything like that any more) It's been really fun hanging out with you, talking with you on MSN, sitting together in class, having lunch together (EAT MORE YOU) and doing projects/assignments together. Thank you!

Thank you to Patrick for being reliable, for dishing out all the latest gossip, for being completely crazy and yet being the guy that you go to when you really need to talk to someone. When are you going to show us around Penang and take me clubbing huh?? :P

Thank you to Sarah for being the most unpredictable person I have ever met. (That's not a bad thing!) Your name couldn't be black because of the background, so I made it grey instead like Vivienne's because you both like black! Thank you for confiding in me sometimes, thank you for keeping me company to watch Kung Fu Panda(!), thank you for being the major mastermind behind Jiwa Baru, thank you for my teddy bear keychain thing (even though the legs fell off, I'm so sorry!) and thank you for being a great friend. I admire you - you're independent, have your own opinions about things and aren't afraid to voice them!

Thank you to Siew Ling for being the most colourful person (and her name reflects this) I have ever met. Everything about you screams cheerfulness, happiness and zaniness, yet when things need to get serious so can you. I've had a lot of laughter and fun with you, and may you stay as wacky and happy as you are!

Thank you to Didi (Deeeedeeeee) for being an awesome class representative, a fantastic project manager and a really good friend. You're smart, funny, well-spoken and everyone likes you! Definitely one with the most potential to succeed in life. Sorry for all the trouble during the projects and revising with you and asking your help with assignments! Keep in touch yeah :)

Thank you to Samantha (look, pink!) for playing Scrabble, Guess The Sketch (we should do that more often) and Pet Society (which is still not loggable on for now, and it's driving me crazy) with me, brainstorming during the project, helping out with assignments, offering to start a book club together (hah!) and keeping me company at night when MSN is rather quiet. I love talking to you!

Thank you to Joanne (see, cow colours :P) for being tall, pretty, slim, smart and talented (by right we should all hate her for that) yet still a great friend and wonderful coursemate. She's really the whole package! Even though she's really busy all the time, she always has a minute to spare for anyone who wants to talk. Have fun Jo!

Thank you to Brandon for being funny, goofy and the most random person I've ever met. :P You're hard to figure out! Thank you for teaching me one of the methods to solve the Rubix cube (I haven't yet, by the way.) You always livened up a class and it's been fun sharing one with you!

Thank you to Yoong Jian for playing Achaea with me. SERIOUSLY. THANK YOU. You're my first successful convert to Achaea! *muahaha* So I guess I'll still see you in Achaea, eh, son? ;) A funny, sensitive guy who's really smart and has a hidden talent in dancing! When're you going to show me eh?

Thank you to Bryan for all those times I've poked you to help me with projects and assignments, and for taking most of the photos for FICM! I must sadly inform you that pokes are undodgeable, and MU will be winning the league title this year. :P You were always fun to chat with, and thanks for being one of the few people that I know reads my blog :P (You can still put me under Friends in MSN right!)

Thank you to Stephanie for being a great friend, a great person to talk to during those long Friday Econs lectures. Thank you for having a great sense of humour and always being friendly. I'm not really sure why we haven't been talking lately, although that's probably also because I haven't been taking the initiative. Either way, I'm glad to have known you and wish you all the best!

Wow, that's a longer list than I expected! I guess I've really made quite a few friends! In a class of 40 or so, it may not seem much but it's the quality that matters, not the quantity, eh? ;) To those I didn't mention: I probably didn't know you well enough to write a dedication for you, but rest assured you have all (in one way or another) made an impact on my short life as a Taylorian, and for that I thank you! Do remember to invite me back for projects and such!

Curlycurl.

2009-01-24T01:17:00.000-08:00

I went over to my friend Ariel's house today, after we'd had lunch at Oldtown coffee house or whatever it's official name is, and while there I played with her hair curler and a bit of her makeup, hehe. After about 1 or 2 hours of experimental curling, here is the result:

This is the first stage, where we just started curling the back part of my hair. First time, so yeah..it's kind of horrible. :P

This is after we finished curling it all, with a flower hairclip in the middle after I pulled the front part of the hair back. It looks nice here, but in reality it wasn't that pretty. :P

And the above is a few snapshots that she took of me while I was sitting on her bed. I'm not really smiling in the shots above, because she was taking too many and I was getting bored..besides, I don't usually take pictures of myself :P The curls looked a bit odd at first, in the above pictures, but later when they started to unravel slightly it looked better. We didn't get any pictures of that though since I had to go!

Not a long, particularly insightful post for once, hehe. Dinnertime, see ya!

Bye bye!

2009-01-20T09:22:00.000-08:00

Well, people, it is indeed official. For those of you who have been paying attention to my MSN and Facebook, you already know - my acceptance letter from Monash arrived today. I didn't even realize until Dad checked the mailbox because I was out all day last-minute shopping for CNY! (Delicious's carbonara spaghetti is really nice, by the way, but at RM26 ((including 10% service charge..so not leaving any tips)) it's kinda pricey. Oh, and Bedtime Stories is your typical Disney feel-good movie..nothing very spectacular there. Adam Sandler is bland.)

But anyway, yes, Monash. All of you (the few that still bother reading this blog anyway) already know my thoughts on it. I know a few of you chose not to go to Monash because of the price, and yes - 10+k in price difference is quite a hefty sum. But you know, it is education after all..you're paying as much for the prestige of the university and the facilities as you are for the quality of the education. I don't mind not buying branded clothes and eating out at fancy restaurants, but I do care about my education (even though my parents think otherwise!)

While the teachers at Taylor's were top-notch, sadly I cannot say the same for the facilities - it never really felt like a proper campus to me..maybe because it wasn't one. Also, I find that the UniSA programme structure doesn't really suit me. The thought of no more exams is fun, but honestly without exams it would be boring, and I would be unmotivated to learn. It sounds odd, I know, to actually speak in favour of exams - but there you go.

I will miss all of you from FICM! I think most, if not all of you are going back, so have fun you guys, it'll be odd not to be going back with you! I honestly never expected to switch universities, but I'm always a last-minute person :P I'm sure all of you will have a great time. Please send my regards to Ms Catherine, Mr Winston, Ms T, Ms Natasha and all the rest when you see them, and tell them I miss them! Monash is not SO far away, so I'm sure if you wanted to meet up, we can find a way. ;)

I will take away great memories from my time here at Taylor's PJ, but as they say - 'Look forward, don't look back.' I have no regrets about the past, and the future has yet to be shaped. I promise to come to your projects if you invite me! :P All the best, people - and don't forget about me!

Monash.

2009-01-13T07:35:00.000-08:00

Some of you already know what choice I made regarding colleges. I mean, nothing's been finalized yet or anything, so it's not even a sure thing, but I'm bored, coughing my lungs out, and I just felt like writing about it.

Yeah, I went to submit my application to Monash today. Bachelor of Arts (Communication).

I stepped inside the Monash campus, and instantly was like, 'Wow.' It really is all clean and big and new and everything I dreamt a real college campus would be. Of course, it also helps that it's new (just built in 2007) but really. Even my parents came and were like, 'Well, it feels nicer having a real campus.' :P

It's huge, spacious, modern and I love it. Although it seems a bit hot outside because of the lack of trees for now, but I'm sure it's air-conditioned inside.

Okay, for those of you (if any) wanting details. Monash is:

- 50% exams 50% assignments
- 8am to 5pm 5 days a week (basically Monday to Friday)
- 81k on average for a 3 year degree
- 30 people a class (for Arts degrees) and usually only about 2 classes
- 4000 people on campus
- 70% local lecturers
- may apply for scholarships after 1st year, to be reviewed semester by semester (if not a former student/A-levels/other accepted qualification)
- has all its Australian campuses in Melbourne
- has a really nice canteen with 1901 hot dogs and San Fransisco Coffee
- wow.

Heh, not too obvious that I like Monash, is it? I just hope I get accepted. :/ If I don't, well, I tried. I don't mind too much if I really have to go back to Taylor's, but you know..Monash is just so much shinier. :P But I really think it's better here too..I can choose two majors, so I can do Communications and Writing, or Communications and Journalism, or even Communications and Psychology/International Studies. And if you don't want writing, well then you can take Bachelor of Communications, which is different because it focuses more on event management and radio and tv - no Journalism at all. Then, after that, you can do one year of Honours, or you can do Masters, and such..Monash just has so many more options.

Besides that, it also has prestige on its side, which is something definitely in its advantage. It's in the top 50 unis in the world - UniSA wasn't even in the top 100, which is why Mom and Dad never quite liked it. It also means I'll have to work pretty hard though, since they must have a really high standard to get that good. However, I'm prepared to work hard - uni years never struck me as the type to be EASIER than Form 4-5 anyway. I practically walked through Foundation half asleep..doing projects last minute (shhh..sorry lecturers) and it was fun..but you know, I'm actually going to need these skills in the future. I don't mind being average - it's better to be average amongst a class of really smart people, than top of a class of dunces. (Taylorians, I am not talking about you people by the way, so no flaming me!)

It's funny, because before this year I'd never even considered Monash at all. I mean, I didn't even know that it was that famous - I thought it was another 'okay' university. Shows how much research I did. *shuffle* I can't remember who or what got me interested in it, but then I looked at the degrees, and went, hmm, this looks quite nice. And then I went to the Edufair, and got their brochures and spoke to the counselors, and then I actually went to the campus itself...

..and wow. Tao had a friend that told her, 'When you go to the Monash campus, you'll have to enrol because you'll like it so much that you'll want to stay.' That did happen to me, although I just really love the fact that it has its own campus. You might not understand why this matters so much to me, but ever since I went to Sydney in 2006 to see my cousin's University of New South Wales campus, that one was just...wow. I mean. It was like the campuses you see on tv shows. It was HUGE. And it was -so- beautiful. I always dreamed about being in a campus like that. Being a real college student.

Monash's campus isn't quite as 'in your face' as UNSW's was, but it's still a big campus, and new and lovely. It's really wonderful, and really looks like a place where someone can concentrate on studying. I sound like a fangirl of Monash now :P

I know some of you who know about my application have been trying to persuade me to stay. Hey, the application isn't even confirmed yet! Besides, now I get to persuade you to come :P Don't leave me alone out here!

All jokes aside, I don't mind, you know. There are some times where you have to do things for the greater good, and while Foundation in Communication - Taylor's College PJ holds many memories and experiences for me, both my parents and I know that it's not where I should be.

IF I do get in, I will miss all you guys! But don't worry, I'll still lurk around your blogs and comment occasionally :P

If I don't, then you don't have to persuade me any more, eh? :P

Time flies.

2009-01-11T06:02:00.000-08:00

Time flies.

Just one hour ago, I was lying in my bed reading a Sabrina book (I haven't bought a new book since Brisingr, so bear with me).

Just one day ago, I was at the Edufair in KLCC with Tao.

Just one week ago, I was returning home from Genting Highlands with my family.

Just one month ago, I was in Adelaide, checking out UniSA.

Just one year ago, I was beginning my Foundation in Communications course.

Time flies.

Time flies so fast that you don't even realize it's gone, until in a sudden moment of introspection, you stop, look around, and think, 'Where has the time gone?' And that's the truth. Time waits for no man. You may mope around for days, weeks, months, years, over a breakup, and expect everyone to pity you, but eventually, people have to move on. Things have to change, otherwise if the world around you changes, and you don't change, you'll be swept away. Even rocks in the sea get worn smooth by the crashing waves, and eventually become the sand on the seabed.

Time flies so fast that one day, you're looking at your little brother or sister, and suddenly realize that he/she isn't just the kid who used to whine and cry and beg to tag along with you, to join you in your 'big boy/big girl' games any more. Your little brother or sister has suddenly matured into a young man, or a young woman. Suddenly they start having crushes, start experiencing heartbreak, start going out with friends, and you watch and you want to protect them from what you've already been through, but them being them, as we were at their age, of course they don't listen. And suddenly, you start being able to have heart-to-heart conversations with them (which is more than a little bit odd) and you realize that suddenly, they're not those stupid annoying brats any more.

"Patience is a virtue." How odd that it should come from a little brother.

Time flies so fast that you learn to take nothing for granted. As new arrivals come, old timers must depart to make room in your life. You learn how to say goodbye, even though you try hard, too hard, to cling on to something that you know will drift away. Friendships, relationships, even life and death. If it is time, it is time. I don't know about heaven and hell and such, but the base idea is: Good people go to heaven, bad people go to hell, end of story. I am not particularly religious but I'm fairly certain I got the basic principle right. The only God I trust in is Fate. Everything is fated to be a way, and if it is your fate, it is your fate. Learn to accept it, learn to accept that the one who is gone has left from your life, but will always be in your heart - as long as you remember. Do not mourn the ones who are gone...appreciate the ones that are still here. Smile and be polite to your grandparents, and stop arguing with your own parents, whose hair grow whiter day by day even though they use dye to cover it up. Nothing can ever halt the progress of time, and while you have today, why put off something till tomorrow when you may not have it?

"The past is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today...today is a gift." - Master Ooguay

Time flies so fast that you don't even realize what it's done to you until you look in the mirror, and go, "Wow. Is that me?" Think back to one year ago, five years ago, ten years ago. Did you ever dream that you would turn out this way? Did you ever have dreams when you were young, that now seem silly to you, all grown up? Well, in another ten years you'll look back -again- and laugh to yourself at how silly you are now. Time brings change, and it affects -all- of us, whether you like it or not. Change is good, in a way..no matter how much you reminisce about 'the old days', without change, everything would always be the same. Then there wouldn't be any 'old days', because every day would be the same, and how boring would that be?

Time flies so fast, you wonder where you can store all the memories. Pictures, snapshots, blog posts, we do all this so that we have a little piece of history to remind us of the good times, the bad times, the joyful times, the sad times. All of this makes up a little bit of who we are, and without them, we wouldn't have an identity. Just the first 18 years of our lives, and already people are agonizing about friendships falling apart, relationships breaking because one of the pair has to go overseas, etcetera.

One thing I really admire about my dad is that he keeps contact with his old -high school- friends. When we were in Melbourne, he met up with his three friends from high school, and they were talking and laughing and joking like no time had passed. We even went to the house of one of them, and later all had dinner together before another uncle dropped us off at the airport. The way they got along, they might as well have been neighbours all their life.

Except Dad hadn't seen/talked to them for about 20 years now.

Don't you wish you had that kind of friendship? Don't you want friends now, who after decades of limited/no contact, you can just give a ring, and talk as if you were in high school again? Don't you want someone you can call on when you need help? Don't you want to grow with someone, to change with someone? So many people are afraid of change, but I say: embrace it. Change will happen anyway. Why try to remain static in a world that is like fluid - always shifting? Those who are meant to be with you on your life journey will always have your back, no matter what. Those who you need to work at hard to keep, are probably more trouble than they're worth anyway. That doesn't mean to say friendships and relationships don't need maintenance, but more than anything they should be a source of happiness and support, not despair and unhappiness.

Don't be afraid to -try-. Do let others influence what you think and do, if they are good influences, but don't let their influence ultimately become your decision. If you take that step, take it only because it feels right to -you-. You don't have to answer to anybody else..it's your life, and only you know how to live it. Others are good at giving you advice because, after all, it's not their life, and they don't know how you feel, how you think. Don't spend the rest of your life thinking, 'What if I'd done this? Would it have been better? What if I'd tried that?' If you want to, do it, don't second guess yourself.

The most important thing is to be able to listen to your heart. To be able to change, externally, mature, grow, go with the flow, but at the core, you still know who you are. Rejoice in that you have today, stop regretting the past and worry not about the future, for it has yet to be shaped.

"To think about what could have been is to poison the happiness we already have." - Saphira

After all, time flies.

Of UniSA and other colleges.

2009-01-10T23:01:00.000-08:00

I have been sick with flu that came out of nowhere, so that shall be my lame excuse for not posting the UniSA pictures and info like I promised (even though I came back from Adelaide like a month ago...) But I'm posting now, so shush!

So, as some of you know, I have been visiting Adelaide to check out the University of South Australia. I visited quite a few of their campuses, so let me give you the (picture) grand tour.

This is me standing outside UniSA's City West campus. When I looked for 'Arts' on their website, it listed City West, so here we are!

This building isn't the only one for UniSA's City West campus though.

I think there are at least 5 other buildings, all around the same area as that one. Above is one of the buildings at night - doesn't it look exactly like in the brochure? Hehe.

More shots of the buildings - I think all these belong to UniSA. They're mostly named after famous South Australians, if I'm not mistaken. You know, those who helped build the colony, and stuff like that.

So, it all looks very nice, right? It's located in Adelaide's city centre, and the government recently extended the free tram service to a stop just outside the campus. So, free transportation, near the city centre so it'll be a bit livelier, and just a few minutes' walk from Rundle Mall, a famous shopping district. Great, isn't it?

Well, it would be, if it actually WAS our campus.

Turns out City West has ALL the Arts courses, EXCEPT Communications. I was pretty annoyed when I saw that, plus we were there on a weekend and everything was closed, as most shops in Adelaide tend to be.

Okay, so, I might have made a mistake, right? Maybe it's in City East. Let's try there!

After much searching, we finally locate the UniSA logo on the east side of town (duh, City East) and walk up to look at the sign...

Communications? Communications? Nope. Nada. Zip. Zilch. This was the Science campus, as I'd expected, for Science things like Dentistry and Nursing and other things.

Oh well, since we came this far, no harm taking a few more pictures. I refused to stand in any of them, because you know, it's not MY campus.

Okay, so, strike two, and it's still the weekend so we can't ask any UniSA people until tomorrow (Monday). But hey, Dad's friend's son Mr Loh (he's not that old, but Dad insists on calling him that for some reason) went to UniSA before. Maybe he can help us out!

He thinks. "Hmm..Communications..it's not in City West? Well, maybe it's at the Mawson Lakes campus."

And off we go.

Mawson Lakes is about half an hour's drive out north from the city centre. It's an absolutely beautiful place, with a lake, small houses, and a wonderfully state of the art campus, as shown below:

It's all very new, very sophisticated, and lovely. It even overlooks a beautiful neighborhood like this!

But, guess what? That's right - not for Communications either, much to my disappointment. See the letters on the yellow stilts behind my head? They spell 'Technology Park'. Yup, this campus is primarily for IT students only, which explains the very scientific look of it all. Which is a shame, because I really like the place even if it is a bit far out of town.

So, after a weekend of hit and misses, Monday finally arrives, and we hurry to the City West campus to ask where the heck the elusive Communications campus is. A friendly student helper named Joe finally tells us that the Communications campus is in fact the Magill campus (and looking over at the brochure rack, turns out UniSA has A LOT OF CAMPUSES.) Finally, we get the right one! Dad insists I call them to find out how to get there, and the helpful Joe gives me the number of the Program Director herself - Ms. Jenny. I spend a few minutes talking to the very nice lady at the other end of the phone, and after getting the relevant details we head to the bus stop opposite the City West campus.

We sit there for a while, waiting for 107X - the number of the bus that apparently goes straight from that stop to right outside the Magill campus. We wait for a bit, and it's getting a little hot, still no sign of the bus - so Dad, fed up, eventually decides to take a cab. It's a 20 minute drive to the campus, and my first impression is - well, it's okay. Not bright and sparkling like the Mawson Lakes one was, but you know, at least it's a proper campus. It looks a little old, but then again, most campuses do.

We follow the map, go in, and promptly get lost. After a while of wandering around, Dad finally asks a security guard for help, and he points us to the front desk, where a very nice (and I suppose somewhat cute) guy takes us to the desk for Communications. (No, I don't have pictures of him)

I ask the ladies working there if I could get a tour or something, and they stare at me - tours aren't something that is normally done here, I can tell. Eventually they make a few calls and point me to the Marketing Director, or some equivalent position held by a lovely Ms. Christina. She agrees to meet me at very short notice, takes me and my parents into a room and talks to me for a while. When she learns that I'm interested in doing Communications, she calls in the Head of Communications and Media Management degree - Ms. Rosie Paradiso. Ms. Paradiso spends more time sitting with me, outlining the courses, and turns out there are far more choices here in UniSA than there ever would be in Taylors. It's a real shame, I should just go over there next year..darn braces.

Apparently, I can major in CMM and minor in Journalism, but that would depend on the types of subjects I took here. The course structures they have look rather different from the ones in Taylor's, which quite concerns me. Apparently Taylor's doesn't follow the UniSA course 100%, which is, I suppose, why some students have difficulty coping when they go over there. CMM is a popular course though, according to her.

My mother's worried about accomodation, so Ms. Paradiso then takes us to what I believe is the equivalent of student services. Here, they help you with tutoring if you need it, accomodations, anything that might crop up in your life as a UniSA student. (It's not actually in the picture below, but you can read the sign).

Here, a very nice woman (whose name I can no longer recall at the moment, so sorry!) volunteers to spend an hour with my mother and I scrolling through all the different kinds of accomodations available for UniSA Magill campus students. UniSA has no on-campus hostels, but the two nearest hostels are private owned and rather expensive. There are a number of different housing options, although most of them are quite pricey (220++) and for some of those, it doesn't even include utility bills (electricity, water, telephone) not to mention food. What, I can't live on air and water!

The only option that seemed reasonable was a longhouse type of deal, where you have your own room, a communal bathroom (don't know about that one) and everybody has dinner together, which usually is 3 dishes with rice, and mostly Asian fare. The lady said this was a good option because it was 180++ if I'm not mistaken, and that included utility bills AND food, which means I can concentrate on studying. (And not have to cook!) Mom did seem to like that one. She said the people who lived there were mostly international students, too, but you had to book early because there was always no room.

After the house-searching, she called Ms. Christina back in to give us a tour! I felt really bad, making Ms. Christina come down all the way to give us a tour (and they don't do this often) but she went, no, no, you've come all this way, the least I can do is show you around. (Seriously, Australians are the nicest people ever.)

They have a few blocks where classrooms are held, so here's one of them sheltered by trees:

I believe there are lecture theatres there as well, if I'm not mistaken.

Below are more examples of classrooms:

Time to move on to a student's favourite place - the cafeteria! This is the outside of the cafeteria.

And below is the inside! The black things on the circular table are computers. Ms Christina called them 'computer pools' (or was it barns? I can't quite remember) and apparently there are quite a few around the school.

There is a cafe in the cafeteria, but the food is pretty pricey, so Ms. Christina suggested that we bring our own lunches. My brother -really- liked the salad though.

After that, we went on a tour around the building. It was mostly closed because it was the holidays for the degree students, but we managed to have a look around anyway. The Television Studio in the Journalism department: (And that's half of Ms Christina!)

Well, at least they use actual televisions!

Then the Journalism newsroom:

And finally, another computer pool/barn.

I don't know about you guys, but to be completely, brutally honest, I felt a bit let down by this campus. It doesn't seem too bad, and certainly the staff were very, very nice, but I don't know..I expected something a little more..high-tech? Polished? Well, either way. I've probably gotten used to dreaming of a campus like University of New South Wales..I went there 3 years ago to visit my cousin, and wow..it was a campus like the type you only have in tv shows. Why can't I have a campus like that?! Accomodation isn't very easy to get either, but I suppose that's a common problem - it's probably worse in Melbourne.

Well, like Ms Catherine says, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Which is why I've held off on registering for degree for now. Instead, I am considering:

I really like Monash, because 1. It has prestige, and 2. It's really got a huge load of options. There's even a double degree in Bachelor of Business and Commerce/ Bachelor of Communication, which is very tempting. Plus, its transfer campus is in Melbourne!

The only thing holding me back is the price, which is, unfortunately, a rather big stumbling block. On average, it costs RM27000 (that's right, three 0s) for ONE YEAR at the college. Degrees are usually 3 years, so you do the math..RM81k for your entire degree. As if that's not bad enough, the guy at the Edufair in KLCC said that if you transfer to the Melbourne campus, you pay the same number - but in AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS.

27000 AUD = roughly RM 59400. FOR ONE YEAR. And that's just the course fees!

KDU I heard was well-known for its Communication courses, but according to lowyat.net forumgoers, its standard has been dropping lower and lower. In fact, ironically, Taylor's or IATC was recommended for a person who wanted to switch OUT of KDU. Apparently it's RM72k for the whole course there, which is about 9k cheaper than Monash. I'd rather pay the extra 9k for the prestige, but then again it's not my money, so I can't really say. KDU also doesn't really appeal to me, for some reason. Maybe it's because it's twinning university is University of Murdoch, in Perth (even though they say they have a building full of multimedia equipment) or the rather shabby DU campus, but still.

Taylor's apparently doesn't publish its fees, so does anyone know how much the degrees cost? I'd appreciate it if anyone who knows would send me a message or something. I need to decide where I'm going to soon - and this time, there's no going back. (edit: Apparently, Taylor's degree is 72320 for CMM and Journalism..66188 for continuing students. Thank you YJ!) That places it at slightly cheaper than KDU. Hmmmmmmmm.

We shall see.

Hope this post was informational for you UniSA-going people!

(P.S.) For those of you interested in Monash, the guy at the Edufair said we should just 'send in our applications' and see, although 'most likely' it 'should be okay'.

The last of 2008.

2008-12-31T05:57:00.000-08:00

Um, yeah, so this blog has pretty much been abandoned for over a month, and now it's New Year's Eve! *cough* I always meant to update this blog, but kept finding excuses, hehe. *shifty* I promise I will blog about UniSA soon, which most..many..some..okay, a few of you might be interested in. It's the main reason I went down to Adelaide, anyway! And there's still time..Holidays aren't over till February, and I don't have a job or anything (yes, I know, lazy, ah well) so it'll come..sooner or later.

So, 2008! Reflecting on the year. Hmm..well, it was a year of some endings and many, many new beginnings. I realized early on that A-Levels just wasn't the choice for me. Too many old faces, same environment as Form 4-5 (which is exactly what I wanted to escape when I came to college!) and basically, it just wasn't for me. So two days in, I made the impromptu decision to switch to Foundation in Communication - a decision that still surprises me, but when it comes to educational institutions I seem to have a penchant for last minute things. Even when I applied for CHS, it was a last minute switch. I do rather regret not researching my options more thoroughly at the time, but what's done is done, and sometimes things happen for a reason. So, my life philosophy - go with the flow. More specifically, -your- flow.

Something else that also started in 2008 is a relationship that I cherish very much, a source of love, support and companionship that I have never had. It has not been easy, we have faced more obstacles than your average relationship, but through it all we have persevered, and I very much look forward to our first anniversary. :) Also during this year I forged bonds with new collegemates, and while I could not say I am very close to any, having them in my life has been much fun. I haven't even considered using mascara before this year! :P

I also finally started doing something I love - writing. I love media (mostly the paper kind) I like learning about its history, how it came to be, but most importantly I love reading about the influence it has on people. That's what I want to do, hopefully..influence people. Doesn't it amaze you how mere words can transform thoughts, feelings, emotions onto paper, and it can be transferred to anyone who reads it? Language will always wield power, no matter how advanced graphics get.

Of course, with new beginnings, there are also regrets and endings. I regret sometimes that old friends and relationships were allowed to falter and drift away. However sometimes considering the effort and energy it took to maintain it, oftentimes letting go is not such a bad thing. I have never found many people that share most my interests, with the obvious exception being him, and my two best friends. It takes energy for me to forge and maintain relationships with people that are very different for me, often energy that I don't have. I do try, though!

Ah well, have tennis tomorrow, then after that going up to Genting, and it's 1.15 am now so I guess I should sleep. Happy 2009, everyone, and don't party too late/get too drunk/both! :P

P.S. New Year's Resolution? Ah..I'll tell you when I think of one!

Where?

2008-11-26T06:04:00.000-08:00

When we have family troubles, we go to our friends.

When we have work troubles, we go to our friends.

When we have school/college troubles, we go to our friends.

When we have relationship troubles, we go to our friends.

When we have 'ohmygodmylifeissuchawreckleavemealonei'mtotallypissedoff' troubles, we go to our friends.

But when we have -friend- troubles, who do we go to?

You tell me.

Tag #2

2008-10-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

I'm really bored and sick today, so lucky you people, you get a second tag!

RULE #1

People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2

Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

Well, I wasn't tagged by anyone, I just felt like doing it. :P

1. What day is it?

It's Monday today, if that is relevant at all.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

Ah..having someone come down (or is it up) to Malaysia for a few weeks. Or maybe, if I want to dream bigger, have a happily ever after.

3. Have you ever thought of committing suicide? Tried before? How?

Hmm..I have thought about it, yes. The time I broke up with my first boyfriend..I put the knife I bought for him in China against my skin, but didn't do anything other than that, because I'm scared of pain :P And I wasn't really serious about it..just really heartbroken at the time. But sometimes when I get really depressed I do think about ways to suicide, and I have concluded that the easiest way would be to get someone to smother you with a pillow, only the person would get charged for murder..and I haven't found a way around that yet. (And no, even if I do, I promise I won't do it, all right :P)

4. What would you do if you won the Miss Universe?

HA. That will be the day. Erm..I really don't know, because it's such an unlikely scenario that I just can't picture it. Probably do something for charity or something, I don't know.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

I would, and have. :) (I have more than one best friend, okay!)

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Being loved by someone is infinitely more blessed. The knowledge that someone, or some people, can accept you wholly for who you are and are always there for you when you need them, always taking your side yet not afraid to tell you if you're doing something wrong..that's love, and it is precious.

7. What would be the most ideal way to wake up to in the morning?

Waking up from a good dream, to see that it's still early (8-9), and then lying there thinking about a good day ahead, or the knowledge that someone will be awake to greet me. :)

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Probably just get over it. Find some other eye candy, there are lots of fishes in the sea. It's happened before anyway, and the guy went on to become my boyfriend, heh - and I wasn't even obsessing over him or anything.

9. If you like to act with someone, who would it be? Actor/actress or bf/gf?

Erm. Probably my boyfriend, if both of us don't burst out laughing when we try to act. :P I don't like acting anyway.

10. Will you invite your Ex bf/gf to your wedding dinner?

Probably not, most my relationships never ended well (then again, I've only been in 3).

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

Ah..hopefully with a nice job, and maybe preparing to be married :) Settling down in life and finally having a direction.

12. What makes u happy??

Hm..a lot of things make me happy. Talking to my friends..completing/getting good grades for an assignment and/or test..being praised..talking to him..getting money :P Buying something that I really like for a cheap price :P (Yeah, typical girl, I know) dressing up..lots of stuff!

13. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Erm..if it's early, shut off the alarm..if I don't have to get up immediately, roll around in bed a little before finally convincing myself to wake up.

14. Would you give all in a relationship?

I often do..in the first one, I gave too much..second one, same thing, but I realized I didn't want to give that much so I broke it off..third one..I think he gives more than me *shifty*

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

I probably won't fall in love with two people at the same time - there will always be one who speaks to my heart more. Attracted to two people at the same time, maybe..in that case, I would pick the one I was closer to, but if even then they're the same..probably the one I can visualize myself with. (Yes, so I size up guys and visualize myself with them, sue me :P)

16. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

If you asked me this perhaps 2, 3 years ago, I would have said no..but recently I've discovered that I just can't stay mad at people for long (like I told Tao yesterday). I want to, but I can't, and I've decided that hatred only makes you suffer. It eats away inside you and creates this gigantic pool of black hate and eventually destroys you from within - thus, it's better not to hate. According to Psychology there's no such thing as 'forgiving but not forgetting', but to some extent I think it's possible.

17. Is there someone who you dislike or despise right now?

Right now..I dislike plenty of people, sure :P But despise..nah, not really.

18. If your girlfriend/boyfriend told you that she/he is actually a prince/princess, what will you do?
I'll laugh..then I'll go, 'uh..are you serious?' If it's true, then I'll be stunned, and then think about what this means for our relationship. Yes, I'm serious like that :P

Uh..six people to tag?

Tao, Woei Lin (both of these people will never do tags), Stephanie, Samantha, Vivienne, Patrick.

There!

A tag by Steph

2008-10-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Okay..Stephanie tagged me ages and ages ago, but I have nothing to do now (well, that isn't true, but still) so I shall do your tag, Steph. :P

::instructions::
Never see the questions before you arrange the names - all mentioned below are TAGGED by me!
1. Tao
2. Woei Lin
3. Matthew (even though he technically doesn't have a blog)
4. Stephanie
5. Vivienne

1. How did you meet 1? (Tao)
Ah..we were in the same class in Form 2, I think she was the treasurer..were you? I can't remember now, but I think so.

2. On a scale of 1 - 10, how would you rate your friendship with 1? (Tao)
Probably an 8 or a 9..she's been my best friend for at least 3 years now, and been through a lot of things together - even though we're in different colleges now, and don't talk much, when we do talk it's like we never stopped. :P I can tell her anything, and she knows she can tell me anything - if we remember. :P

3. How long have you known 4? (Stephanie)
Ah..known her since Foundation this year, just one of those really friendly people whom you feel comfortable with instantly, although she doesn't acknowledge it :P Been a good friend in college since then, and I've told her things I don't tell anyone else.

4. How do you know number 3? (Matthew)
Well, I got to know him in Achaea, an online RPG game that I play. We shared the same city, but never really talked until one day I asked for a spar for my Order requirements, and he answered. He beat me, but spent almost an hour after that teaching me to improve my fighting. That's how we first met.

5. Where's 5? (Vivienne)
Erm..I really have no idea. She's not online, so..bathing? Eating? Sleeping? Or maybe gone out..it's Deepavali after all.

6. A fact about number 1? (Tao)
Her nickname is Donut!

7. Who is 4 going out with? (Stephanie)
O.O Stephanie! Are you going out with someone I don't know? :P Well, not that I know of, currently, but the guy whom she does end up with will be a very lucky man. :)

8. What does 1 do for a living? (Tao)
She's studying A-levels now, shortly going into Law I think..but she has her own blog selling bags and accessories. If you guys want you can check it out - http://b-charm.blogspot.com

9. Would you live with number 3? (Matthew)
*grin* I would, if my parents wouldn't freak out about it. But no more on that subject, so shush. :P

10. What do you like about number 2? (Woei Lin)
Well, Woei Lin wants to be a psychologist, so sometimes in class I used to tell her about my problems (Tao wasn't in the same class then) and she'd try to give me advice. Mostly I listened to her problems though. :P

11. Do you miss number 5? (Vivienne)
Well, I just SMSed her yesterday, and probably will later tonight, so no - not that much. :P But I will once the holidays start!

12. Would you make out with number 4? (Stephanie)
....riiiiiight. No thanks, I don't swing that way despite numerous attempts to convert me (I'm not even kidding).

13. What's your opinion on number 2? (Woei Lin)
Well, she's the youngest in her family so sometimes can act a bit spoiled :P But she's actually pretty mature, especially since she's the only girl and actually does housework *shifty* Which is more than I can say for myself! Ah..I also really admire the way she can charm grownups. :P None of them seem to be able to resist her - yesterday when we were at curve this trader was practically falling over himself to give us discounts and even free drinks :P

14. What's your favourite memory with number 5? (Vivienne)
Hmm..again, probably my birthday party. We had a good time!

15. What will you do if number 1 and 2 were going out? (Tao and Woei Lin)
Ah..probably console two heartbroken boyfriends. And never go out with them both at the same time ever again. XP

16. Ever had a long conversation with 5? (Vivienne)
Yes, but I think it was mainly about assignments. :P

17. Have you ever slept at 2's house? (Woei Lin)
No! This is why you have to host a sleepover this time, Woei Lin! It's a sign, I tell you!

18. Do you hang out with 3 a lot? (Matthew)
I wish...well, 80% of my time is spent with him on MSN/Achaea, but in person..never. I suppose you could count it as hanging out though.

19. Who have you known the longest? (Tao)
Actually I've known Tao and Woei Lin both as long..but I think Tao longer, because Woei Lin wasn't that close to me in Form 2.

20. What will happen if number 1 and 5 have a relationship? (Tao and Vivienne)
Erm..well, at least they're both about the same height? *hides* But nah, would never work out - too contrasting personalities. Besides neither of them swing that way. :P

21. How often do you talk to 1? (Tao)
Well, whenever I feel like it or whenever she talks to me really..it doesn't really matter. Usually I start the conversations :P Like that la..busy busy person.

22. What about 2?? (Woei Lin)
This one even worse..never know when she's going to stop talking to you. I usually don't talk to her that much on MSN because she has to share her computer with her brother and always disappears halfway.

23. Have you ever thought 3 more than a friend? (Matthew)
What do you think? :P

24. Would you go on a date with number 5? (Vivienne)
Erm..we do go out on outings together with friends, but dates...I think we both have better things to do with our time :P

25. Do you dream about number 2? (Woei Lin)
Er, not frequently. Actually I have no idea if I ever did at all. I might have!

26. What did no.4 did to you that you can never forget? (Stephanie)
Ah..I don't know if I would 'never' forget, but currently one thing that sticks in mind is the brainstorming for our Sem 2 project, and complaining about people. :P

27. What have you done for/to 1 that the person never forgets? (Tao)
Gosh, so many things to list..but then again I wouldn't know what she won't forget, right? :P Probably the scrapbook I made her on her 17th birthday. That was so freaking difficult.

28. What's 3's hobby? (Matthew)
Oh, this one is easy! Programming. *sagenod*

There, Steph, I finished it! :P

Relationships in college.

2008-10-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

All right..yes I am guilty of neglecting this blog, but in truth I have been busy with assignments (which is not really a valid excuse in my case since everyone knows how I do assignments, but still) and other personal relationships. Therefore, here is a post to appease readers of this blog (if there -are- readers of this blog :P If not, I need something to do while my hair dries and I can go to sleep!)

On the subject of personal relationships, I have been thinking a lot about mine. Not the boy-girl relationships that inevitably comes up when you say the word 'relationships', but I mean in terms of friendships as well.

I've been in Taylor's College for 10 months now, and I find that I have (I think) reasonably good relationships with most of my coursemates, some a little closer than others. However, I'm not -really- close to any one of them, which I know is mostly my own doing - I don't contact coursemates much out of college, I don't go out all that often and my mobility is limited. Plus, I'm quiet by nature and I don't mix around with other people that easily, which is a downside to a Communication student but not one I can really do much about - the current me is a huge improvement to what I was a year ago, and even then it's not really a good situation to be in.

I enjoy the occasional gossip, sure..but I'm not interested in drama. I really don't care much about how this person is fighting with this person, or how that person thinks that this person likes the person that that person likes (yes, very confusing, I know). I already have too much to juggle on my plate without being inquisitive about the personal affairs of others (which is not to say that I don't become curious every now and then, but I don't make it my personal mission to find out and spread the word). Regrettably, my quietness and lack of interest for classroom politics has left me somewhat out of the loop, and unable to share inside jokes and things like that with coursemates, which consequently affects our relationships.

This is a somewhat sad situation, although I don't really mind for the most part. Being in a long-distance relationship means you have to make certain sacrifices, and for me, it is time - time that could have been spent improving relationships with friends. However, I chose not to out of my own accord, mainly because I find that I tend not to do assignments in college anyway, and I'm not an energetic person - more than 6 hours of interaction leaves me drained. I dislike wasting time, therefore I choose to go home instead of staying in college and coming home even more tired.

Also..my personality somehow seems not to mesh very well with the others. I -can- be hyper at times, but not often, and only on topics/events that I can really get into. I seldom make self-deprecating and/or silly jokes, and sometimes look a little lost when friends tease each other or talk about their current love interests. A lot of my coursemates are high energy types, and while this makes them fun, it's a little difficult for me, who is...not so energetic. It's something I can't really help though.

I love what I'm studying, right now, and all egoism aside I know I can be good at what I do. However..I'm wondering if I really am the right type of person to go into Mass Communication - it seems like the type of people required for this course has to be 1) energetic and attention-grabbing, and frankly I'm just not that kind of person. I can be when the situation requires, but on a normal day I'm just your quiet, average girl.

Hmm. Perhaps I should go for counselling.

All this aside though, thank you to those at college who have made my 10 months (and hopefully longer) stay enjoyable..you know who you are. :) I'm sorry I haven't been able to be a very good friend, but if you have problems you know where to find me, and I promise I'll listen, at the very least. After all, isn't that what everyone wants sometimes? Just a good listener?

I can do that.

I look at pictures of group photos, and I mean huge group photos, and sometimes I wish I had a big group of close friends like that. Still, on the whole, I'm happy with the way my life is now - it's not perfect, but I'm grateful for what I have. I have two best friends that I can not talk to for weeks and yet when I do, it seems like time has never passed. I have a very special someone whom I spend hours with every day and knows me better than anyone else in the world, is incredibly supportive and very smart. I have good friends in college that may not be the closest people to me, but have my back and accepted me - as a friend.

I think that's something to be grateful for, don't you?

1.00 am, I finished rambling.

2008-08-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

It's 11.41 pm now, I'm fishing on Achaea (well, not getting very much nibbles, so I'm bored) thinking about going to college tomorrow, and feeling bored..(even though I get to see all of you, hehe :P) Lately all I ever do nowadays is feel bored. Even if the research proposal thing is due next week. I kind of have a sense of impending workload avalanche, but ah well. "Worry about the world tomorrow", eh?

I think too much about some things, and think too little about other things..I'm kind of unbalanced in that respect. Then again..I've always been unbalanced. I may know how to study but I can't do soft skills, don't know how to deal with people, not sure about common etiquette, stuff like that. I may know how to use HTML and code to a certain extent, but I can't cook, wash, clean, mend, stuff like that which, in the end, is inherently more important.

Yeah..I kind of need to get my priorities straight, don't I?

On an unrelated topic..the word 'promise' shouldn't be used unless you're 100% sure you can do it, and 100% sure that it will happen. No more, and no less. You know why? Because each time you say, "I promise," the person whom you're making the promise to believes you 100%. And if, for some reason, you let that person down on that promise, no matter accidental or not, that person feels hurt. Even if it was the tiniest promise..the fact that you made a -promise- is often more important than the promise itself.

People take words too lightly, but to me, words are my life. You say 'No music no life,' but without words, there would be no music. Or there would be music, but without lyrics, so it'd be meaningless. If you say something to me, make sure you mean it because I will remember it and I will take things to heart. I don't brush off stuff easily. I analyze everything down to the very last detail, looking at it from as many angles as possible, and often this makes me unhappy because I'm imagining the worst possible scenario. Yes..often I get upset about nothing, but sometimes I feel it's warranted - how do you prepare for things, especially scenarios involving feelings, if you don't know how it feels in advance? Or at least -try- to know? You can't make an effective plan without first knowing -how- to plan for the event.

Let's say I'm imagining a break-up, just in case one day (touch wood) it really does happen. It'll most likely be angry and sad, as a big majority of breakups are, and both parties would be hurt and ignore each other for the rest of their lives. For me, I'd erase all trace of his involvement in my life - MSN contact gone, Friendster gone, gifts gone, messages gone, -everything-. I'd plan out what I'd say if we were breaking up, even, how to break up, try to put myself through the pain of breaking up so that I can brace myself for it. This may sound a bit crazy, but the reason I do all this is so I can be -prepared-. Just in case. You know when I first broke up with my first boyfriend, I put the knife to my wrist? I mean, I wouldn't really have dared cut it (too scared of pain..haha lousy, I know) but I don't ever want to be in that situation again. The reason I did that was because I was unprepared for how much it would hurt when he broke up with me that I became totally irrational. This is why I always try to have a backup plan for everything..if Plan A doesn't work, switch to Plan B, and if Plan B doesn't work..panic.

Which is why Plan A must work.

In a totally unrelated post, thank you to all who came for my birthday party. (Yes, I know, belated thanks to someone who went to SINGAPORE). To those who attended my party, I hope it was fun. My ex high school friends will know that it was nearly an exact replica of my 2007 party, but hey, different company now, and besides the objective is simply to have fun - if it works, why fix it, eh? We played Pictionary, a bit of charades, Mafia (hope you guys know what it is, if not it's too long to explain) ate spaghetti, salad, corn, pizza, barbecued marshmallows, sausages and chicken wings, and drank punch. The only thing was you people don't want to take picture with me. =.= WHY LA. See la you people's fault there's no pictures to post on my blog. Hmph! Kononnya like to camwhore..but when it's the occasion to camwhore then don't want! But personally I think people camwhore when they're bored..so no camwhoring means it was interesting? Right? :P I should bring Pictionary to college one day. We probably wouldn't have time to finish it, but it would be fun.

Kind of worrying about the research topic stuff, since this is an ongoing thing (a -really- ongoing thing) and not something you can just complete overnight, which means there's no shortcut. Most of my assignments and studying (yes, even the Media History videos and yes, even finals) were done almost overnight, just one or two days beforehand..the difference is I concentrated hard when I was doing them as opposed to dragging it out over 1 week or something and coming up with a hodgepodge essay, or something. Even though I acknowledge my videos weren't all that great. Oh well - at least we're all in the same boat, eh?

Speaking of same boats - my parents want me to go overseas as soon as possible, it looks like..rather different from the rest of you who seem to be delaying going overseas as long as possible. I agree with mom's argument that one year is not enough - one year is barely enough to get used to the environment, and before you know it you've graduated. There's even talk of doing my Masters, which I'm not entirely sure I need to do, but that's still a way off yet, so we'll see - even if leaving possibilities open scares me. Then again I guess I'm not one to really adhere to the schedule - after all, it's the reason I'm here instead of slogging away in A-levels. Yes, I'm an impulsive person. I usually don't regret it though - so far.

I've been thinking about the three degrees - Communication and Media Management, Digital Broadcasting (or something like that?) and Journalism. Originally I wanted to take the first one because I believed that it was the most well-rounded of the three, and in media, versatility is a great asset. However, after that little introductory thing with Mr. Winston, in which he said the first one focused more on PR - well. I think I need to reconsider my options, because PR is not an area I'm interested in (me?? PR?? Hahahaha..no. Even if I am a Leo.) Tentatively, for now, -most likely- I will be taking Journalism, if CMM really is focused on PR.

With this new factor in mind to consider, the people whom I interact with at degree level most likely won't be the same gang (or at least, not most of it) that I've come to know and love this year, which I find sad because we've just started to be quite close to one another, and now the year is drawing to a close and we probably won't see each other THAT often. (Not to say we won't see each other period, but still.) On the other hand, this opens doors to more possibilities, and if I can find someone to go down to Australia with me in the second year, I'd go down there without a second thought. (If my parents have their way, I'll most likely be going down anyway, but ah well. We'll see.) It really isn't that I don't want to go down..or that I'm scared and stuff..(well, maybe a bit) I'm just scared I won't be able to cope, and that it'll affect my studies. It's not just a whole new college, with the usual stress of new teachers, new place, new classmates..it's a whole new -country-. There's a big difference, you know? But when I tell my parents that they go, "Cheh, you also have to go one la..nothing one la, your cousin also what!" Well, I'm not my cousin (who is also a guy), so..whatever. We'll see, I guess.

"Follow your heart, but let logic guide you".

It'll turn out okay in the end though. I hope. Let Fate decide.

Agenda.

2008-07-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

I'm quite tired, it's 12 am at night, and for some reason this is the best blog writing time, so here I am. In two days we'll all be back at college, and while this means we'll all be able to see each other again (yay!) I'm not so thrilled about having to combine certain classes with the March intake. It's not really that I have anything against the March intake or anything, oh no. It's just..kind of awkward when we're already used to our small groups, not to mention the huge lecture theatres that'll be needed to accomodate so many students. But I guess that'll just prepare us for UniSA. I just hope I can manage to concentrate properly in such a large class. And what about participation marks? X.x Difficult enough in one joint lecture, never mind with 60+ extra students. Oh well. Have to suck it up and live with it, I guess. I can't imagine what it'll be like in UniSA. We're going to be with them in the same semester, right? Hmm. Food for thought.

Anyway, despite my best efforts the ends of my hair have become fluffy again, and I have no idea why - they just go curly again. But my hair's still mostly straight, so I guess it was still quite worth it. I'd post a picture but my webcam's gone a bit nuts, so you'll just have to see when I go back to college. Tips on maintaining straightened hair, anyone? Do I have to wash my hair less or what?

Also, here are a few pictures from the sleepover I did the week before last.

Haha. My friend Tao brought along a huge load of nail polish, so we put them in a circle and took turns to spin a bottle in the centre. Whatever colour the bottle pointed to was the one we had to paint, and this is what turned out. Guess which hand is mine!

Before you people start accusing me of obscenities, this is my index finger, as you can see, and the only one to get the accursed red. I mean, it looked like strawberry jam.

Us posing with our 'beautiful' fingers!

And again. Tao kinda got cut out of the picture!

Don't ask me why I was smiling like that because I have no idea. Excited I guess.

Star!

And crabs! XP

There were quite a few more but those are on Woei Lin's camera, (which she hasn't sent to me yet!!) so this is all for now. It was a fun night. We were going to watch Wanted on her laptop, but in the end it was too boring (or we were too tired) and we ended up going to sleep instead. I slept in the middle! (And I do NOT kick, ok.)

But anyway, listen up people, I have an agenda here.

1. My mom suggested that I have a BBQ party for my birthday. It'll most likely be on a weekend, if people can make it. I might host one if enough people decide to come. So, BBQ or no BBQ? My house is in Damansara Utama, near 1U and the Curve. Let me know if you're interested and we'll see how it turns out!

2. I might be able to get a laptop/handphone! (After much whining about injustice, which is all you need to know :P) Any recommendations? Especially for the laptop, what I know about laptop specs could fit in an ant's brain. Mom is saying either Dell or Acer, so..let me know. It's supposed to last me a good few years, so make it a good recommendation!

3. During the sleepover we did A LOT OF SHOPPING. And now I am officially broke, but I got a few new tops/pants, which I may or may not post pictures of depending on how lazy I am :P If I do, you get to help me pick what to wear on Friday! (Or Monday, if I don't do it in time).

4. Blueberry or chocolate?

That is all, good night people and I'll see you on Friday!

Being a Mass Comm student.

2008-07-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday night, I'm fishing in Achaea but the fish aren't biting, my brother doesn't have school tomorrow (dangit) Matthew's busy programming, MSN isn't working, and I'm bored. So - let me tell you what I've been up to this one week of holidays.

- I went to straighten my hair (you all know that, and it's getting kinda fluffy now..no idea why)

- Played Achaea all day long

- Had a sleepover with my two friends (Christine, don't kill me, you all never said anything about it so I decided to have one of my own :P Just nice they can come..)

- Results came out and I got a 4.0 CGPA (so, yes, you can stop asking)

But ya know..the sad thing is a 4.0 CGPA doesn't really mean much to my family. The last semester when I got the same thing and told my mom, she was like, no big deal..'Your tests very hard meh?' So..*shrugs* Whatever, I guess. They're more concerned about my brother, who is kinda the opposite of me academically..and in looks as well. He's fairer and has big eyes.

I kinda feel left out sometimes..I mean, easy or not I still worked for this grade. Often they go, 'How come don't have class again / how come so early finish one?? Got study one anot??' I feel like..just because I'm not a Science or Business course, they kind of look down on us. 'Mass Comm? Haiya that course..no need study one lah'. And it's not just them..it's everyone. Even my friends (not from this school)..when I went out shopping with them, if they saw a 'lalaish' type of clothing they'd go, 'Nah, you wear la - Mass Comm mar!' I realize that it was probably just a joke, but nevertheless this is one joke I will not laugh at - in fact, it's kind of a sore subject.

How did Mass Communication students earn this type of reputation? You and I know how hard we work and study for our assignments, projects and tests. Just because compared to, say, A-Levels, we don't spend all our time bent over books and papers, and our assignments are more fun and less test-oriented, suddenly we're not worth anything. Just because we have more freedom with our clothes, suddenly all the Mass Comm students are sluts. Just because we have lower requirements and don't focus so much on academic grades, suddenly we're all retarded.

That's not true.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that's heard something like this, am I? Haven't you guys had to deal with opinions like this before? Have people ever asked you, "But you so smart, why go take Mass Comm? Not wasted meh?" How do you feel about it? Personally, I feel resentful, angry and a little sad. I suppose I should learn not to take things so seriously - but how can I help it when we're all generalized like this?

But we'll show them, won't we? We'll work hard, we'll play hard, and we'll show them we're every bit as smart and talented as them. What people don't realize is the power lies in media. We change the world - how many lawyers/doctors (okay, doctors maybe)/ accountants can say that? We influence people, we build people up and take people down, we spread information, we publicize. We're the ones who work behind the scenes to ensure a successful event. We're the ones who bring star power and generate hype about the event so that people will want to come in the first place. We're the ones who create stars.

What can you say about -your- profession?

Without the media, even the biggest company is nothing. We -are- the power, but people just don't seem to realize that. It's okay, though, because we know. We have the power to change, to shape, to create. How many other professions can do that?

A day at the hairdressers.

2008-07-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

So I meant to blog this yesterday but I kinda forgot..no worries, I'll make it up today! I was lazing around in the sofa looking at my dry hair..I'd been wanting to change it for some time but still unable to make up my mind on whether I wanted to do rebonding or curl it. But at the very least, I knew I wanted to at least trim it - so I told my mom, and after doing a bit of driving practice (mom wants me to learn the road to my brother's school so I can fetch him if he misses the bus..ah well) we went to the salon I usually go to in SS2..no idea what it's called, but it's pink. My mom doesn't like it because she thinks they overcharge..I really wouldn't know, need to go compare prices :P

She dropped me there, and I talked to the stylist, who coincidentally has the same name as my aunt, and is also my aunt's regular hairdresser. I asked her what the difference between curls and rebonding was (I mean, obviously I know, but what are the pros and cons). So she said, if want easier to manage, then rebonding, if want sexier then curls. (I guess those that have seen me on MSN know what I picked :P) But yes, for those who don't, I picked rebonding..mainly because my hair is already dry enough, and I don't feel confident enough for curls just yet..if it come out not like what I expected then die :P But at least with rebonding you know what you'll get.

So the stylist told me it'd take about 3 hours..meaning I'm definitely going to miss tennis for today. I called my mom, and she was shocked at first (she thought I wanted to curl :P) but eventually agreed. I asked the stylist how much and she said RM199 for the rebonding + RM 50 for the treatment (is that expensive? I seriously have no idea) and my mom was like, '...I'm going to take this out of your allowance okay.' No choice la :P Do only lo.

So she trimmed my hair, cut off a few inches - it originally fell to the small of my back, now I think it's just below my shoulders..and her (trainee? Partner?) started doing the rebonding stuff. (Was a bit nervous because she couldn't speak English properly and seemed a bit inexperienced..) I think most of you have had rebonding done, so I won't go into too much detail..it involved a lot of horrible-smelling cream, washing, blowdrying, rinse and repeat. Anyway, I was sitting there for three hours..actually more like four..read my way through one issue of myc!, some other magazine, and a 老夫子 book..needless to say I finished with about an hour to spare, and was bored to death watching her blowdry/apply cream.

When everything was done, the stylist came back and showed me my hair from the back with a mirror..it actually looked pretty nice :) All straight and shiny now instead of being wavy dead grass (as my dad likes to put it so eloquently) I actually don't mind it being wavy, but it is nice to have soft hair for once. The only thing is the stylist said I had to use the L'Oreal shampoo for the first two months to help the hair retain the chemicals or something..I dunno la, but the shampoo cost like 70 bucks. :S Naturally, mom wasn't very pleased about that..oh well.

The shampoo looks like that, if I'm not mistaken. RM70!!

The whole ride home she was going, "Got any difference meh? I think your hair become coarser lo.. I thought you straighten should be all same length one? How come layer? Should all same length mar.." I was like...you spent RM319 (yeah, that's how much it cost all up) and then come and complain that there's no change..when in fact there is a huge change - my hair's all straight now, it's shinier, and I've had my hair cut too. I was so mad..but since she paid for my hairdo and actually let me do it in the first place..no choice la..hold my tongue..but I was fuming all the way back. And then my brother also said the same thing!! 'Got difference meh?' I really felt like strangling both of them. Way to boost my self-esteem, man.

But thank goodness when my dad came out and examined my hair, he was like, "Quite nice la, now more shining..at least better than before." And when I showed my friends (and you guys) they said it was nicer than the old hairstyle, at least (my old hairstyle got so kesian anot wor..) and Matthew liked it too, so it's all good :P After I went and bathed (wore my hair in a shower cap..I hate shower caps but oh well) they (meaning my mom) -finally- said 'Okay la, looks quite nice la..worth it la.' :P I feel vindicated.

Personally I feel it's quite nice..I mean, it's smooth, really easy to take care of and it makes me look more mature :P My best friend's been wanting to do it for ages but her mom's against straightened hair..quite funny because I also used to be really against straightened hair - I actually vowed that I would never do it, but that was back in the day where straightened hair was all the rage, and it wasn't rebonded hair either - it was really -straightened- hair, which made your hair look even more dry and lifeless than before. Rebonding is clearly different though, and I like my new hair :)

Like all good haircuts, you need before and after pics! I don't really have one that showed the full length of my old hair, so try to remember la..

Before! (Please ignore the cacated facial expressions)

My dad's office in Miri..where I went when I was absent from Malaysian Studies that one time.

Random webcam pics (Yeah, I know they're small..bear with me :X)

After!

It looks longer than previously, but seriously it's not - I had at least an inch cut off!

And this is the back view! (Damn it's hard to take pics with a webcam that can't extend more than half a metre from the back of your CPU)

And no, I will not be dyeing my hair..at most I'll get it highlighted. :P

Night people, and happy journeys to those going on the Malacca trip - I can't go, got dental appointment. :( Have fun!

P.S. To Stephanie..this is crapping skills :P

after exams!

2008-07-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting in the library, waiting for people to finish their Malaysian Media History exam..and then it's two week's worth of holidays for us! Yay! (come on, people, I already wrote far more than I needed to for my essays and you're still in there! Stephanie! I know you finished faster than me!) There's really no need to stay the entire hour, people..

Anyway..I'm bored, someone hasn't woken up yet (It's 12.30 there..*twiddle*) can't really play games on this computer. Hmm. Therefore, I shall outline my holiday plans for you!

Play games. (Lots and lots of games)
- Design more jewellery. (Don't ask)
- Earn more gold..credits! (Pet!)

Blog more. (On all of my blogs :P At least one post each!)

Maybe try and learn a little Flash. (Hey, two weeks at home..not all that much to do)

Go out? (Maybe..see if my friends are free..probably on weekends or something)

Drive more. (Sooner or later I guess..note to self: Never drive with mom)

Go Blogskin hunting! (Still don't really like this one)

And..umm...yeah...exercise more? (HAHAHA...as if)

Yep..I think that's about it. So Vivien and Stephanie and Patrick are here..time to go to Pyramid..soon...it's only 10.30 am though. Watching 21/Hancock/something..

Vivien: "Watching 21..got sex one!!"

Vivien again: "Patrick! I didn't know you use Viagra!!"

That is all :P

Non-Aligned Messages.

2008-07-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

So it's 10.30 now, actually quite sleepy since I woke up this morning at 3 am to study stupid Malaysian Studies..don't really know whether it was worth it but oh well. Tomorrow's English, which is why I'm not panicking and rushing to study yet..that comes tomorrow, with Malaysian Media History. :P

Both Intro to Mass Comm and Malaysian Studies papers were okay I guess..I completely forgot to write my student ID number on my IMC MCQ paper =.= I have no idea why I forgot..I remember thinking that there wasn't any space to write the number but I just completely forgot the left hand corner. Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me nowadays. I asked Ms. Catherine about it and she said it'd be okay, but I'd probably better go and email Mr. Ben or something.

Anyway, I'm kind of sleepy (dangling modifiers, misplaced modifiers, comma splices, run on sentences..etc) so..I just have a few observations to make.

It's no secret that there is tension brewing between Group 1 and Group 2, has been this way ever since Semester 1. Then, we banded together as a team. But as time goes on, lines are blurred, and people get to know each other more intimately - as Ms. Catherine said, this is when the true colours will be shown. There's tension amongst group members as well, if you keep your eyes peeled and your ears open.

Therefore, being a non-aligned member (I know, too much Malaysian Studies), here is some impartial advice:

1. There's a difference between 'being unique' and 'being someone nobody likes'. It's all well and good to say 'Hey, I don't care what people think, if they can't like me for me, that's their problem', but have you ever considered that the problems you may face as a result of this could outweigh their loss? There's no need to give up your individuality - just don't force it on people. If the whole world doesn't 'like you for you', there's something wrong there - and no man is an island.

2. Confrontation is always better than implied hostility. If you think someone doesn't like you for whatever reason, thrash it out, no matter how awkward it seems. Don't wait for the poison of hurt and resentment to seep in - it'll be doubly hard to get rid of after that. Get everything out, clear the air - only then can there be healing.

3. With regards to #2, I have yet to hear about a proper confrontation. All the psuedo-confrontations don't count. Once you truly confront somebody about some issue, have at it then and there, say everything you want to say, and that's it. Don't hide feelings inside - they'll just eat away at you from within. Speak your mind, be as candid/brutal/forthright as you want, but expect the same back. Feelings will be hurt, yes - but at least the wound is clean. If it's too difficult to do in person, do it over MSN. The results will still be the same.

4. There are always two sides to a story - listen to both the sides before you make your judgement. We are Mass Comm students, people!!

5. Putting other people down does not make you 'cool'. In fact, it makes you look stupid because you should know better. How do you expect people to respect you if you can't respect them?

6. Gossiping, while fun, can be potentially damaging. If you really must gossip - then get the facts straight.

7. Nobody likes slackers.

Cryptic? Too obvious? You decide. Disclaimer: I am not talking about any person in particular for any of the points and therefore all similarities to your situation are clearly coincidental. However, if you read this, and think one or more of this seems familiar... ;)

If Your Heart's Not In It ...then don't do tags :P

2008-06-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

Vivien tagged me with the song thing again..I actually did before but what to do. :P But it didn't make much sense anyway, so do again I guess. Hopefully this time it'll be better!

a. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc on shuffle.
b. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
c. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
d. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
e. Put this on your blog.

1. If someone says,”Is this okay?”
Show Me The Money - Petey Pablo (Hahaha. You want to know if it's okay? Show me the money first. :P)

2. How would you describe yourself?
Are You Happy Now - Michelle Branch (Isn't that kind of asking myself 'am I happy now?' o.o Maybe..I tend to back off from arguments and go, 'okay, you happy now?' Dunno la..not really much explanation for this.)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
我难过- 5566 (O.o I definitely do not like a guy that makes me sad. Cacated media player!)

4. How do you feel today?
小乌龟- 张董梁 (Er. A turtle?? O.o Well kind of..it's hot and sleepy, and I feel kind of sluggish..also my internet connection is being mean :( )

5. What is your life’s purpose?
She's No You - Jesse McCartney (What the heck. This round makes even less sense than the previous one. Er..to assure my best friends that no other girl can ever replace them? Hahaha..I dunno la. Open to interpretation kay :P)

6. What is your motto?
后来才知道- 张智成 (...that's a damn sad case motto wei. My motto is 'Afterwards only realise?!' T_T So sad man.)

7. What do your friends think of you?
Because You Live - Jesse McCartney (Awww! Because I live, you live! So sweet!! XD [Sure kena curse later])

8. What do you think of your parents?
I Lay My Love On You - Westlife (What is it with the sweet love songs wei. But I admit..I love my parents :P Even if I don't show it much!)

9. What do you think about very often?
记得爱 - 阿沁 (True..I often feel down, but then I remember that someone (or more!) loves me :) )

10. What is 2+2?
Everywhere - Michelle Branch (Er..yeah..the number 4 is everywhere! EVERYWHERE I TELL YOU!)

11. What do you think of your best friend?
爱到- 飞轮海 (Er. I seriously dunno what to say la..what's with all the Chinese songs man. Maybe, uh..love's finally come her way? XD)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Same Girl - Usher ft. R.Kelly (O.O The person I like likes the same girl as someone else? Well since I'm technically dating the person I like..who's the other guy!! XP [And excuse me, I am so not playing anyone okay])

13. What is your life?
I Will Wait For You - Elliot Yamin (Er. My life is waiting for you? Then after you come..how? I die? Well at least I'll die happy :P )

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Reflection - Christina Aguilera (I want to be a reflection? O.O Okay this requires some very creative twisting..I want to be a reflection of successful people I admire a lot. Yesh. Let's go with that.)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Bye Bye Bye - N'Sync (....hahaha. Absolutely no comment because it's totally not relevant. Or..maybe because usually when I see him it's late and I'm trying to get him to go to sleep!)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Don't Love You No More - Craig David (OMG. OF ALL THE SONGS. DAMN MALANG WEI. T_T)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
发现爱- 林俊杰& 金莎 (Why couldn't it have been the other way round? I die already then only you all realize that you love me izzit? :P)

18. What is your hobby/interest?
Gallery - Mario (Er..having a gallery? Well, I like copying the pictures of cute kittens and nice artwork into my computer..does that count?)

19. What is your biggest fear?
Swear It Again - Westlife (Er..ok more twisting..so - my biggest fear is that he'll leave me, so I swear it again that I won't? :P I know, it's messed up. Or maybe my biggest fear is that I swear I love him and he doesn't believe me / didn't hear me so I have to swear it again! XD)

20. What is your biggest secret?
Pop - N'Sync (Ooo. I like to dance but I don't usually except when I really get into the mood? :P)

21. What do you think of your friends?
只对你说- 林俊杰 (Aww see how much I love you guys! I only tell you that I luffs you!! XP)

22. What will you post this as?
If Your Heart's Not In It - Westlife (Heh. Yeah, my heart's kind of not in this tag :P I'm just bored!)

23. What song would you play during your first time having sex?
街头霸王- Tank (...I have absolutely no idea what to say to that. I don't even know what the song's about :P)

Anyway, people I tag..er Samantha, Grace, Legend, still Tao (do eeet) and..whoever else that wants to do this :P

Colour Blindness - It's Cool!

2008-06-25T05:24:00.000-07:00

I see everyone so semangat starting new blogs and all..so *sigh* have to try and keep up also. If not will be called outdated. :P Okay la..I'll try and update at least once a week. Okay? Promise. Even if my life is boring. That's what blogs are for anyway, right? To read about the boring life of other people. :P

Anyway - our project for this semester, Colour Blindness - It's Cool, which is trying to raise awareness about racism (colour blindness meaning we don't judge people by their skin colour :P )surprised me by performing far, far better than I'd expected. Seriously. With everything that'd been going on, I honestly expected it to be a huge flop - and looking at the number of people who turned up today, I was almost thinking it would be. But the audience was vocal (even if it was half made up of our own people) and everyone really seemed to be enjoying themselves. Props to Didi, our poor project manager (I wonder who'll the next one be, cos I know she probably won't want to repeat that experience :P) She was really involved in -everything-, the way a good leader should be.

I have to honestly admit that I have no idea who Pete Teo (the guest speaker) was..and his speech was kinda rambling, because he would say a sentence, pause, then say another snippet, and pause..but you could see by his vocabulary that his English is very good, so that helped. :P Maybe he was nervous or something. He was kind of cute though, in a shy way (don't get me wrong, he's not my type :P) He was awfully sweet though, sporting and willing to take pictures and write autographs for all the groupies :P I didn't get one though, mainly because he was so busy already and that autograph would probably end up in the rubbish bin or something :P

The things that the participants came up with for the fashion show thing were really creative though. I mean they only had what, 10 minutes, or less, and limited stuff like ribbons and cups and newspapers..but they still came up with some pretty cool stuff. *grin* I don't have pictures right now, they're mainly all with my other friends, but I'll post some up when I get them (if ever). If not I'll just link and you guys can go to their blogs and see!

However, I do have something you can watch for now - the trailer I did that was played while all the audience was arriving. Just as a sort of preview to keep their interest and make them stay on. I came late to class because of this, but shh :P Credits go to Youtube and Google images. I originally thought it would be played right after the emcees started, so I put in a game, but oh well. Perhaps it amused the waiting audience.

Anyway, I'll be linking people once I figure out how to import a new layout (Blogger layouts are..bleh :P Sorry!) so keep an eye out for that.

Woot! The video uploaded! It's only 2 minutes, so just watch la. And be sure to try the game! :P

Are -you- colour blind? :P

Religion

2008-06-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely exhausted - it's 1.13 am, and a big group of us just finished discussing and talking (okay, so we finished a long time ago) but I just quit, so sue me. :P I thought about keeping this on a private blog, but since it involves a fundamental part of who I am, I thought I'd just post it here. (That, and this blog is long overdue for an update :P )

Anyway - what I'm going to talk about is -my- view on religion. MY view, kay? So don't put me in ISA or OSA or..goodness knows what. :P Since I'm too lazy to explain all in detail, you get them in point form, with explanations if you're lucky.

All religions are just God's way of reaching out to as many people as possible.

God is benevolent - He saves those who do good deeds and believe in Him. (I refuse to believe in a God who would forsake His children just because his children didn't follow the 'supposedly' 'one true path'.)

Humans were given free will, free choice, for a reason.

Forsaken are those who do not believe in God, those who commit crimes because they think no one is looking, or that 'it doesn't matter anyway, there is no God to punish me!' Someone is -always- watching.

God would not have wanted for His children to wage war against one another simply for being of different faiths.

As long as it all leads back to Him, the route you take is irrelevant.

Aslan could take into His heaven a Calormene who had fought against the Narnians, because that Calormene was brave and valiant and passionate for what he fought for, even though it was for Tash. He said, "All good deeds done in the name of Tash are done unto me". This is my view of religion.

The wars between religion start because people are convinced that theirs is the only true religion and that all others are false. If everyone can just remember that only God knows the answer, and until then, the most important thing you can do is stay true to -your- beliefs, the world would be a whole lot more peaceful.

Man is flawed. Therefore, utterings and writings by Man are all flawed.

Man was never meant to know the answer to the universe.

God loves us all.

Whether you be Christian, Hindu, Muslim, whatever - I don't care. I don't judge people based on their beliefs. I judge people for their personality and character - religion comes not at all. I happily proclaim myself and my brother free thinkers, but we believe in the existence of a God, and try to do right by Him - we just don't necessarily have a name for him. If you wanted me to name a prophet, I would say C.S. Lewis - Narnia might be a fairytale, but if you look at it as a way to interpret God, he is my prophet, just like Jesus is for Christians and Nabi Muhammad is for Muslims.

According to your religion, you may think I'll burn in hell, but that's okay. I respect your right to believe that, because after all - we were given the freedom of choice, and man is flawed - that's why we all don't think alike, else we'd all be carbon copies of each other. I refuse to believe in a God that would discard His children for not following the religion He apparently specified. Neither the Quran nor the Bible dropped from heaven - they were written by mortal men, and therefore are subject to errors like all man made items.

As soon as I can get it, I will twine 7 strings in the colours of the rainbow into a string bracelet like the ones Buddhists wear. Not that I'm trying to copy a trend, or anything - just a reminder of what I believe in - free thinking.

In the end, it's -your- faith that really counts.

Music taggies.

2008-05-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

Long time never update ler. Hehe..just been bored. I really should do my presentation / prepare for MMH presentation..but it's hot and I'm sleepy. Oh well.

Stole this random tag off someone else's blog..funny. :P

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE ?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie.

Opening Credits:

No Place That Far - Westlife

Oookay..it's a good thing, right? Means..um..I can get anywhere if I want to, no place is that far! Ha.
(so technically it's a love song, shush :P)

'If I had to run,
If I had to fall,
If I had to swim a hundred rivers
Just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I will find a way
To get to where you are,
There's no place that far.'

Waking Up:

See Right Through You - N'Sync

Uh...yeah, I've woken up now, see? I can totally see through all your lies and deceit. Yeah.

'Treat me like a fool,
But I see right through you.'

First Day At School:

我难过 - 5566

How sad man. First day of school and I'm supposed to be sad. Technically it's true also I guess since I don't generally have any friends on my first day of school. (Will not bother posting Chinese lyrics because Chinese typing program thing is not working)

Falling In Love:

Selfish - N'Sync

Hahaha. I totally have to agree, I'm really selfish when it comes to falling in love. I want him to myself! No sharing allowed!

'You can call me selfish,
But all I want is your love..'

Fight Song:

True - Ryan Cabrera

=.= What the hell wei..how am I supposed to use this as a fight song?! Umm..um..okay I know. I WON'T REST TILL THE TRUTH COMES OUT! That works, yup.

'I'm weak, it's true,
Because I'm afraid to know the answer..'

=.= What the.

'I've waited all my life,
To cross this line,
To the only thing that's true,
So I will not hide,
It's time to try,
Anything to be with you,
All my life I've waited..
This is true.'

Ummmm. Totally lousy fight song. But I guess at least it means I'm willing to fight for love :P

Breaking Up:

Belaian Jiwa - Innuendo

Ooooo. This song is really nice, but kinda not -that- suitable for breaking up..I guess the tone of the song does sort of fit it though, it's like kind of sad and saying that 'I love you so much, I'll wait for you.' Although I guess you could also say that I can't let go..which, on the other hand, tends to be quite true.

'Kau tahu betapa ku sayang padamu,
Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti,
Hanya takdir menentukan ia,
Oh, belaian jiwa.'

Prom:
Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down

What the..why do I keep getting all these nonsense songs?! Well..technically you only have proms at the end of something..like graduation and stuff. So maybe prom is a way to let us go. Yup, let's go with that.

'You love me, but you don't know who I am,
I'm torn between this love and where I stand,
You love me, but you don't know who I am,
So let me go.'

...I'm not even going to bother to explain that kay.

Life:
Because You Live - Jesse McCartney

Finally! Something that makes sense! Yup, the whole point of my living is because of you :P (Not quite true, but still!)

'Because you live, and breathe,
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help,
Because you live, girl, my world,
Has twice as many stars in the sky..'

Mental Breakdown:
Tell Her - Jesse McCartney

Okay, back to the songs not making sense again. Um..if I ever go crazy, first thing to do would be to tell my best friends. Kay? Remember to tell her if I go mad. Probably cos I haven't seen them/talked to them for so long.

'If you see my girl, just tell her I miss her smile,
Tell her I'm counting the minutes,
Gonna see her in a little while,
Oh coz-
I know when she -
Won't talk to me -
She's the one thing that I could never live without,
Oh, oh, ohhhh~
And tell her I love her..
Just tell her I love her.'

Umm. Just to clarify - I am not a lesbian kay. Although I do love my best friends! (Who still love me even though I'm crazy)

Driving Far Away:
Girlfriend (Remix featuring Nelly) - N'Sync / Nelly

...umm, I can do this. Right - if I ever go off on a drive far away, it'll be with my girlfriends. Yep.

'Why don't you be my girlfriend,
I'll treat you good,
I know you hear all your friends when they say you should,
Cos if you were my girlfriend,
I'd be your shining star,
The one who shows you where you are,
Girl you should be my girlfriend.'

Err..I treat both my best friends well, does that count? :P

Flashback:

Pop - N'Sync

Okay, okay, so I have a lot of N'Sync songs, sue me. Umm..yeah, when I think about things from times past, I get very annoyed with myself for thinking too much and not just waiting to see what happens before jumping right into things. Sometimes I need to relax a bit. (Yes, that was a lousy explanation but what to do?!)

'It doesn't matter
About the car I drive
Or the ice around my neck
All that matters
Is that you recognize
That it's just about respect
It doesn't matter
About the clothes I wear
And where I go and why
All that matters
Is that you get hyped
And we'll dig it to you every time'

Open to interpretation, my daily creativity quota is spent.

Wedding:
Apologize - One Republic

OF ALL SONGS TO PLAY AT A WEDDING. APOLOGIZE?!?!

I guess this means I should do all the apologies before my wedding so that we both enter into the union with a fresh start. Water under the bridge, and all. (Something like that, anyway.)

'Now it's too late to apologize,
It's too late...
I said it's too late to apologize,
It's too late...'

Umm. Okay, I'm not married yet so..I'm sorry!!

Birth of Child:

Right Back In The Water - Jesse McCartney

What the..not like I had a child before!!! I'm seriously going to throw out my playlist. Seriously. Um..maybe it's like a flashback, you know, come full circle - so many years ago I was in the hospital as a baby, just starting my life - and now I'm here giving birth to a new life. Yeah. I'm so out of ideas.

'And I try to walk away but I keep telling myself she's the one for me,
Cos her love is so contagious it keeps pulling me in,
We were meant to be,
And I can't leave her, so -
We're right back in the water..'

I hope this doesn't mean that my husband is going to try and leave me but can't cos I'm giving birth. I WILL KILL. And I don't want him anyway, if that's the case.

Final Battle:
Same Girl - R.Kelly ft. Usher

Um..I wouldn't fight because of a girl. Maybe for my best friends, but seriously.

'We're messing with the same girl,
Same girl,
How could the love of my life,
And my potential wife,
Be the same girl..'

Errrr. You know what, never mind.

Death Scene:

安静- 周杰伦

Haha. Quite appropriate actually, since if you're dead you're obviously going to be very quiet. (And on another note, I figured out how to fix the typing thing, so - lyrics!)

‘我真的没有天份，
安静得没这么快，
我会学着放弃你，
是因为我太爱你。。’

Awwww. *wipes a tear away* So sweet!

Funeral Song:

记得爱- (dunno who the singers are)

Yeah..remember we loved you. (Awwww!)

‘记得爱，
所有幸福的片段。。’

Of course I will :)

End Credit:

只对你说- 林俊杰

Yeah that's right - this tag was made just for you people! Haha..(all that aside, this is the sappiest love song ever, but still)

No lyrics this time :P Cos finish d!

I tag:
Anyone who wants to do this. Plus Tao. (No option for you, muahaha.)

More random thoughts!

2008-05-16T03:00:00.000-07:00

Okay. Okay. I admit. I've been lazy.

One whole week of holidays, assignments due, and I haven't accomplished a single thing. Instead, I've been online all day, reading random blogs, losing my phone somewhere, and emoing over things that happen in game.

But then I take a step back and think about college life..and how much happier I am when a game is just..a -game-. I've spent so much time and energy in Achaea that it almost seems to be part of my life - something a bit difficult to comprehend for many of you since I know most of you don't invest your time in games. But since I'm even dating someone who is part of that game, it technically -is- part of my life in that aspect. A lot of you think that me meeting him in that game is like some kind of fairy tale -which it is- but at the same time you also have to know that it's a lot of work to maintain a relationship with someone who's so different from you, and so far away as well. Things aren't all roses, you know, but sometimes you just have to step back and think about whether that person is worth it.

In this case, it is. :)

And people have requested pictures, so I shall satisfy you and give you -one- (I don't think he'll mind too much, since almost half of you have seen it already :P)

And people. D-O-D-D is pronounced 'dod'. -Not- 'dood'. (I mean, come on..how sad would it be to have a surname that sounds like 'dood' :P) (Patrick, if you call me that one more time I will use you as a bowling ball and I will hit a strike. Muahaha.)

Sometimes college really is good in a way that it forces you to be serious, but have fun being with your friends at the same time..doing something you love and are able to give your heart to instead of suffering in the classroom. I mean, goodness knows I've already spent what, 10 years suffering in primary and secondary school?

Everyone sees college as some sort of escape. While you're slaving away in the hot classes during secondary school, you think to yourself, "There's college to look forward to, then I can do what I want..just graduate, just graduate, just graduate." How many of you have thought that? To just survive high school, then to go on to that new utopia of education - college. A mark of adulthood.

Well, truthfully college is a whole new ball game. You have presentations, slides, references..everything you just winged in high school becomes the focus in college. Plus there's class participation marks, which means you actually have to speak up and not lurk at the back rows in class like I used to in college. College means nobody gets left out, and I'm actually kind of grateful for that. It gives introverts like me a chance to speak up and know that someone will actually listen.

However it also has its bad points - you have to work with people who might not meet your expectations, people who might let you down, and you might end up having to shoulder most of the burden because your group members can't or won't do things. That's just life, though - mom says it happens even at work, and I guess it's just something I'll have to get used to. Think of it as a valuable life lesson - at least I know how to deal with these people now, rather than later where they might actually be in a position to fire me or something!

I'm actually only in Foundation level now, with degree coming later (and yeah, I know it's going to be a lot harder - a LOT, LOT harder, from the way the lecturers keep hinting) but I welcome the challenge. Then I'll be able to see where in the media world I actually belong - I mean, so far I love everything we're doing, but this is just a tiny, tiny part - we haven't even scratched the surface yet. I want to find out how an introvert like me can belong in an extroverted world such as mass media - I know there's a niche for me somewhere. I can read and I can write - that's 70% of the requirements fulfilled :P Nah, just kidding. It's a lot more complicated than that. I might consider counselling to find out what areas I can aim for - right now I'm just thinking about completing my degree, but no idea where I actually want to work after that. Some guidance would be nice.

But for now - I adore college life!

swoon

2008-04-17T06:10:00.000-07:00

Taken from Grace's blog because I was bored: (Hope you don't mind ya Grace)

Top Ten Hottest Guys In My Eyes

Hahaha. Just a mark of how bored I am, eh? Note: Places 2 to 10 are not in any particular order, except for 1, which is..1. (Okay, technically those I think of first will be put first, so..they sort of are in order, but I think they're all hot.)

#10: Lee Ryan

First celebrity name to come up when I think of 'hottest guys'. He is absolutely stunning, seriously. Green eyes and slightly spiky blond hair, plus sharp features and of course the requisite hot body..whew. I was crazy about him for quite a few years, and he is still one of the hottest guys I've ever seen and one of the very few I will actually stoop so low as to squeal about. :P

I mean, look at that face. He wasn't named 'Baby Blue' for nothing, you know. Duncan James has -nothing- on him.

#9: Johnny Depp

This guy has to be on nearly every girl's list. Even if the real him has crap fashion sense, the main thing that draws me (and just about every other girl on earth) to him is the smooth way that he talks and acts..I mean, even when he's being bad, he's being lovable. (re: Captain Jack Sparrow).

And the one thing that gets me weak: His accent. Seriously, that accent is just..way beyond sexy. And considering how little I use the word 'sexy', you know it's really something. :P It's like..I don't know..melted chocolate and syrupy caramel. Seriously.

Tell me that's not hot. He's a brilliant actor to boot, so that helps!

#8: David Beckham

I can almost hear the groans already. :P Come on, you have to admit he's photogenic. I used to keep a scrapbook of him..and cut out all his pictures during the 2004 World Cup. :P Yeah, pathetic, but hey, I was 12, cut me some slack! I still do think he is hot, even with laugh lines beginning to form. As long as he keeps the spiky hairstyle..the cornrow braids was just..ugh. And the hairband..I'm not even going to go into that. Even celebrities have bad hair days.

He's cute la kay.

#7: Jesse McCartney

I -think- this picture is an old picture, as I'm quite sure Jesse wears his hair kinda spiked up now (which is a pity, this suited him SO MUCH BETTER) but there's just no denying that Jesse looks so hot in this picture. Blue/grey/green eyes and all, with the hair just falling into his eyes like that. Seriously, it's way hot. (Although I don't like his new single..forget what it's called, but it's rubbish)

I'm beginning to realize I have a penchant for guys that have baby faces. But I can't help it!! They just are cute!!

#6: Aaron Carter

For some reason, (nearly) all the guys I find hot seem to have blond hair and baby faces. Hrm. Well, at least I'm consistent. :P Anyway..I'm not sure if this is his most recent picture, but when Aaron did the "Do You Remember" video, I couldn't stop staring at him. His hairstyle back then was kind of like Jesse's (see above), and it really suited him. This picture is hot too though.

Ish. I may have eclectic taste in guys, but there's no denying that they ARE hot. Okay.

#5: Ronan Keating

Okay, so this picture's a little blurry, but he still is hot. The first time I saw his video, "When You Say Nothing At All," I honestly thought it was David Beckham singing. xD He looked so much like him! But seriously, although his singing style isn't really what I usually listen to, his version of "When You Say Nothing At All", is great. Plus yeah, he's hot.

#4: Kimi Raikkonen

Just to prove I don't just like singers and actors! Kimi Raikkonen is an F1 driver for Ferrari, and gosh, he's so hot. And he was world champion once, so that proves he's not just a fluke! His TAG Heuer ad was seriously..I mean, just look at that. I couldn't stop staring at it while waiting for mom to finish getting her glasses done.

Come on, just look at that intense expression and tell me that's not sizzling hot. And I don't care if it was for an advertisement!

#3: Shane Filan

He's one of the main vocals of Westlife, and I still think he's hotter than Mark or Kian, although both are, admittedly, quite good looking. His voice is instantly recognizable in all their songs, and I absolutely love their Irish accent, although it's not obvious when they're singing. And ha! Not blonde this time! (Although still baby faced)

#2: Teddy Geiger

Ha! Also not blond! And surprisingly, not spiky hair. I could have sworn he had green eyes in the video of 'For You I Will', but grey eyes work wonders too. I really like the eyes of a person the best - to me, they really are the windows of the soul. He doesn't really fit the mold of all the other guys in this list, but to me he just is hot in a way. Also, I listen to For You I Will every day, and somehow never get tired of it.

As for #1, I'm not going to tell you, but I suspect most of you know already anyway. :P

Kinda sad how there are no Asian guys, eh? For some reason Asian guys/celebrities just don't catch my eye. They're too..common looking? :P (Asian celebrity fans, don't kill me ><)

I tag all of you who are so free to come and read my blog, so you must have time to do the tag also! And for guys, no excuses - do the top 10 girls :P

Tag, you're it!

2008-04-07T23:01:00.000-07:00

Haha I dunno how long never kena tagged d. Since tagged by Stephanie..ok lo. :P

*List out 5 presents you wish for:
1. A colour screen, camera phone. Preferably a flip phone, I likey. And one that can play music!!
2. A laptop, do want a laptop.
3. An internet connection that won't break down.
4. A plane ticket to Australia. :P
5. Nice heels I can walk around in without my feet aching after a few hours.

*The person who tagged you:
Ms Stephanie Heng!

*Your first 5 impressions of her:
1. Eccentric. :P (It's a compliment, I swear!)
2. Fun
3. Friendly
4. Objective
5. A good church-going Christian :P

*The most memorable thing they have done/given to you:
Erm..waved the orange Streamyx cardboard hands at the One in a Million show when we were so bored :P

*If he/she becomes your lover, you two will:
Ewww. Guys are too cute for me to turn lesbian. Stephanie, you're cute, but I'm sorry!!

*If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be because:
Err. Because she was spreading rumours about me, maybe. I know she won't do a thing like that, but if we ever became enemies (which I hope not!) it would probably be because of something like that. Or a misunderstanding that nobody bothered to clarify!

*5 people you tag:
1. Tao!
2. Woei Lin
3. Matthew :P
4. Patrick!
5. Samantha :P

*Who is no 3 having a relationship with?
Er..need I say more? :P

*Who is no 5 having a relationship with?
No one as far as I know..*eye*

*If no 2 and no 3 got together will it be a good thing?
Errrrr. I don't think so. :P

*How about no 4 and 5?
....that would be one of the oddest couples ever. Seriously.

*What is no 3 studying?
Diploma in Advanced Games Programming! (did I get that right?)

*When was the last time you chatted with no 5?
Chatted, as in face to face? A few minutes ago :P

*Does no 4 work?
Patrick? Er..not that I know. Maybe previously.

*Would you be with no 1?
Sure, as a best friend, but as a partner..eeeeeew.

*How bout no 5?
Again, as a friend, sure..but as a partner..ummm no thank you. Like I said, guys are still too cute for me to resist. :P

*Does no 2 have siblings?
Yep, two elder brothers.

*How did you get to know no 2 and no 4?
No. 2 sat next to me all through Form 4 and Form 5, while I got to know no.4 in college.

*Where does no 1 live at?
Ah..Sri Hartamas, on Mount Kiara.

*Is no 3 the sexiest person in the world?
(I swear I didn't look at these questions before I listed you in numbers) Umm..that's a secret :P

I tag you all who read this!

Who I am.

2008-04-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

I know to some (or many) people I might appear like a loner. As in, I don't socialize with people a lot, I don't talk loudly or take lots of pictures (a lot due to the fact that my phone doesn't have any camera function) or move around in big groups. I'm perfectly happy to sit down quietly with a book, or spend hours surfing websites and reading my game forums. All singular activities that don't require interaction. That may make me seem isolated, which is odd for -mass communication-, but I really don't mind. It's in my nature to be independent and quiet, and being in a mass communication course won't really change that.

Is it wrong that I prefer reading online stories and forums to looking at pictures of models or surfing for funny videos on Youtube? No, it isn't. I mean, once I get into it I can spend hours on Friendster just looking at some unknown person's photos too, just out of sheer boredom. It's just that I don't want to. I'm not so fascinated by cute guys or girls as I used to be (but even then, not a lot), mainly because I'm not interested in looking at pretty girls, or that much interested in looking at cute guys (singers and actors are excepted, because Lee Ryan is cute, and I don't care if you don't know him!) and generally because looking at people who are so much better looking than you generally just makes you dissatisfied with your own looks, and I have enough problems with self-esteem as it is. Besides, I know what I like, and there isn't very much of it. :P /cryptic sentence

Sure, I can be sociable too, but only when I feel like it - if I'm feeling like I need some alone, quiet time (which happens a lot, sadly) it's probably better that I not talk to you then rather than pretending that I'm very interested in what you have to say, no? You'd probably be offended because I'm lousy at hiding my emotions, and you'd be easily able to see that I'm just pretending.

I don't mind being a quiet person..it's who I am.

...and the only reason I'm writing this is because I'm bored, it's 10.40 am now and class only starts at 3. Ugh.

Will write later if bored, byeeeee!

How to Deal With an Upset Girl

2008-04-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure if any guys are reading this, but girls, feel free to examine this for authencity and accuracy and leave feedback! :P

Ever had moments where you have no idea how to deal with an upset girl? I'm sure some, if not all guys have experienced that at least once. Where everything you say or do seems to hit all the wrong buttons and make her even more sad/upset/mad.

So! Here's a few tips on how to calm an angry/sad/upset female. This is assuming that you're in a relationship with the girl (for guys), but some aspects of it can apply to female friends as well, if she's close enough to you to actually consider telling you her problems, but it doesn't apply to all - some people feel more comfortable telling their problems to strangers, because strangers don't know them well enough to judge them. But anyway!

#1: If she's ranting, never change the subject until she does. :P This is to let her rant all she wants, get it out of her system, and when she changes the subject or appears to subside, then you know it's safe. :P

#2: When she's ranting, feel free to offer consoling words or gestures and also offer advice or comments. It is fine to be objective, but things like 'Well, it -was- your fault' is likely to upset the girl further, even if she admits that it was her fault. (That's just a ploy for attention, she wants you to say 'Nah, things will work out, I'm sure' / 'No, it wasn't completely your fault')

#3: During the rant, silence is -not- golden. The more she rants without any reply from you, the more likely she's going to think that you're not listening (even if you are!) and that will just upset her even more. Talk to her, console her, offer advice (pretty much do #2).

#4: If she's quiet and doesn't talk much, it usually means she's sad about something. But if you ask her "What's wrong", and she says "Nothing, I'm fine" - never take her at her word. "I'm fine" in girl-speak is "I'm upset about something but I want to see how much you really care before I'm going to tell you." Don't push her to tell you, but let her know that if she does want to talk, you would really like to listen, and that you'd like to share the burden with her. Eventually she'll feel guilty enough that she'll tell you, with certain exceptions. (e.g. If she's cheating on you, if a friend told her you're cheating on her, stuff like that.)

#5: Give her lots and lots of attention and affection. Some girls are high-maintenance, some are slightly less, but the truth is all girls want attention and affection. Don't overdo it, or you're going to seem clingy: No need to ask her "What are you doing? Where are you?" every 10 minutes. The best relationship is one where the two parties can talk like normal friends, but insert a nuzzle/hug/kiss every couple of minutes/hours just as a reminder that "I love you."

True? Untrue? Think you know of better ways? Tell me. *grin*

See you in English!

Text game!

2008-04-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

Right, since I have roughly 13 minutes till the start of class - I know non-graphical games seem to be a step back in technology to most of you, who are familiar with and largely prefer detailed graphics in your computer games. But if any of you like to think yourselves open to new games, I've got a game for you: Achaea, Dreams of Divine Lands.

I'm not surprised if you say you haven't heard of or seen this game before. It's a MUD, a Multi-User Dungeon, which means in basic English that it's a text game, with no pictures whatsoever, using ASCII code and things like that. This is an example of what you might see as a character standing in a field.

Grasslands south of the Pachacacha. <= room name
Filling the firmament are heavy grey clouds. <= (weather) The mighty Pachacacha river trickles slowly along the hot, quiet grasslands here, the sparkling water flowing smoothly across the glistening pebbles. Tiny fish dart around in the glittering river, while all around you is an expanse of sun-sweetened grass, perfect for grazing. Small, sweet wildflowers bob their heads in the wind that whispers across the silent grassland. <= (description of the room) There is a runic totem here. So-and-so is here. <= (another person)
You see exits leading to the north and east.

I've run out of time to explain further, but if any of you would like to give this game a try, go for it: http://www.achaea.com/

Basically, it's a fantasy game, with lots of fighting, hunting, economy things, spellcasting, and so much more. Don't let Asians be the minority in a text game!

Look Requa up if you ever decide to join.

Time for class!

Random first post.

2008-04-01T22:19:00.000-07:00

Right, so! Since everyone has a blog, I decided it was about time I start my own. I know that you know (or some of you anyway) that I have private blogs, too, but those are -private- for a reason. :P Don't worry, I'm not talking bad about any of you there...

...much. *innocent*

No, seriously, I'm not!

Most of you probably don't know me well, even if you're in my group, mainly because I'm a quiet-ish person (yes, yes, I know, hard to believe quiet => mass communication, eh?) But I type a lot, so I guess it compensates.

A brief introduction!
Me: Karin Chan Khai Ling
Birthday: 4.8.1990
Favourite number: 4 (yes, yes, taboo, but hey, I like 4. It's my house number (44) and my birthdate, so ha!)
Favourite colour: Orange
Star sign: Leo! (Leo = likes hot colours = orange is good)
Status: Newly legal driver! Muahaha.

The driving test yesterday was..cacated, haha. Let me tell you about it.

The first time I went for my driving test, I passed on the road but I failed the THREE POINT TURN (argh!) Just because the car stopped too early, I didn't have enough room to turn out of the box, and knocked down a pole. Sigh. I was -so- happy to have passed the slope, which is what everyone is afraid of, only to be foiled..at the 'supposedly' easiest thing in the whole test. I mean, seriously. I -never- had any problems with the three point turn..until today. =.= Okay, so, after much anguish, went for the retake, which was yesterday.

I was Putih no.16, which was a good thing as it meant either way we got to finish quite early. (Although it didn't make a difference as my parents were out paying homage to deceased relatives so nobody could fetch me to class in the afternoon). With much trembling, I made it over the slope (joy!) made it through the parking (double joy!) and went for the three point turn..

..and failed.

Again.

Guess what happened this time? Smart me, I lifted the clutch too fast, too early, and the engine died. -Somehow-, I don't know how, the eagle-eyed officer caught me and asked me to get out of the car. I was -furious-. Seriously. That would be the SECOND TIME that the effing three point turn has foiled me. I was muttering under my breath as I went to sign the form.

He made the failed ones wait while he dispatched the ones who had passed, and when it was finally our turn, he made us all sign the slip, but he didn't mark the failed part yet. There was a Malay girl who had been trying desperately to get out of the parking for a long time, which I had been waiting at before finally moving to another parking space, before she finally failed. The other Chinese girl and I signed our papers quietly, but that Malay girl was pleading with the officer, and he just turned a deaf ear. He threw our ICs back at us and I left, muttering to myself under my breath. (I just can't find it in me to swear, haha. Although minor ones like 'shit' don't count, okay.)

So while I was flopped on the table, waiting for my driving instructor to print another retake slip, the instructor got a call from someone. He looked excitedly at me and said, '16 Putih got wor, do you want?' Confused, I went very intelligently, "Huh?" He ushered us out and told me that the officer was offering to pass me if I -ahem- 'persuaded' him. (With 7 green and blue ones.) I was stunned.

'So, do you want?'

'Anything, yes, as long as I pass..'

He then grinned and said it was a go, and thus I am a legal driver! (When I get my license, that is). It felt a bit bittersweet that I hadn't managed to pass -legally-, but come on - I failed the most mundane of parts, and both times it had been a technicality. I never had a problem with the three point turn before. The driving instructor asked me if it was 'sayang' that I had to add onto my already substansial driving fee, especially if I had been that close to passing. But at that point, I would have paid just about any (reasonable) amount to escape the stress of worrying about a -third- retake, and the agony of being so close to success (twice!!!) and failing. I could barely get to sleep the night before for worrying about the test!

So, I'm waiting for my driving license, and then I shall be legal. Muahahha. Apparently I was one of the lucky ones, because these days most officers have gone straight (not as in the non-gay kind, ahem..which doesn't mean they're gay either!!). Not like they need to stay crooked any more, with all the money they've made all these years, but meh.

So thank you, eh, Mr. April Fool? For I assume you had something to do with this. *wink*

Officer: You failed.
Me: *sigh*

*15 minutes later*

Instructor: You passed!! (with *ahem* conditions)
Me: Yay!!

See you in class, guys.