Wednesday, October 22, 2008


All right..yes I am guilty of neglecting this blog, but in truth I have been busy with assignments (which is not really a valid excuse in my case since everyone knows how I do assignments, but still) and other personal relationships. Therefore, here is a post to appease readers of this blog (if there -are- readers of this blog :P If not, I need something to do while my hair dries and I can go to sleep!)

On the subject of personal relationships, I have been thinking a lot about mine. Not the boy-girl relationships that inevitably comes up when you say the word 'relationships', but I mean in terms of friendships as well.

I've been in Taylor's College for 10 months now, and I find that I have (I think) reasonably good relationships with most of my coursemates, some a little closer than others. However, I'm not -really- close to any one of them, which I know is mostly my own doing - I don't contact coursemates much out of college, I don't go out all that often and my mobility is limited. Plus, I'm quiet by nature and I don't mix around with other people that easily, which is a downside to a Communication student but not one I can really do much about - the current me is a huge improvement to what I was a year ago, and even then it's not really a good situation to be in.

I enjoy the occasional gossip, sure..but I'm not interested in drama. I really don't care much about how this person is fighting with this person, or how that person thinks that this person likes the person that that person likes (yes, very confusing, I know). I already have too much to juggle on my plate without being inquisitive about the personal affairs of others (which is not to say that I don't become curious every now and then, but I don't make it my personal mission to find out and spread the word). Regrettably, my quietness and lack of interest for classroom politics has left me somewhat out of the loop, and unable to share inside jokes and things like that with coursemates, which consequently affects our relationships.

This is a somewhat sad situation, although I don't really mind for the most part. Being in a long-distance relationship means you have to make certain sacrifices, and for me, it is time - time that could have been spent improving relationships with friends. However, I chose not to out of my own accord, mainly because I find that I tend not to do assignments in college anyway, and I'm not an energetic person - more than 6 hours of interaction leaves me drained. I dislike wasting time, therefore I choose to go home instead of staying in college and coming home even more tired.

Also..my personality somehow seems not to mesh very well with the others. I -can- be hyper at times, but not often, and only on topics/events that I can really get into. I seldom make self-deprecating and/or silly jokes, and sometimes look a little lost when friends tease each other or talk about their current love interests. A lot of my coursemates are high energy types, and while this makes them fun, it's a little difficult for me, who is...not so energetic. It's something I can't really help though.

I love what I'm studying, right now, and all egoism aside I know I can be good at what I do. However..I'm wondering if I really am the right type of person to go into Mass Communication - it seems like the type of people required for this course has to be 1) energetic and attention-grabbing, and frankly I'm just not that kind of person. I can be when the situation requires, but on a normal day I'm just your quiet, average girl.

Hmm. Perhaps I should go for counselling.

All this aside though, thank you to those at college who have made my 10 months (and hopefully longer) stay enjoyable..you know who you are. :) I'm sorry I haven't been able to be a very good friend, but if you have problems you know where to find me, and I promise I'll listen, at the very least. After all, isn't that what everyone wants sometimes? Just a good listener?

I can do that.

I look at pictures of group photos, and I mean huge group photos, and sometimes I wish I had a big group of close friends like that. Still, on the whole, I'm happy with the way my life is now - it's not perfect, but I'm grateful for what I have. I have two best friends that I can not talk to for weeks and yet when I do, it seems like time has never passed. I have a very special someone whom I spend hours with every day and knows me better than anyone else in the world, is incredibly supportive and very smart. I have good friends in college that may not be the closest people to me, but have my back and accepted me - as a friend.

I think that's something to be grateful for, don't you?