Monday, April 27, 2009


I lost my pendrive today. x.x I am angry with myself. How could I be so careless as to not pull it out before I left! Last time it was attached to my nametag, so at least if I did lose it they'd know who to call. Now it's just a pendrive, with no name or anything, and it's lost.

Ughhhhh. :( Let's just hope whoever found it was nice and returned it to Lost and Found. It's not an awfully huge pendrive either..just 2 GB. Monashians don't need to steal a 2G pendrive..do they?

*prays* If I find my pendrive again, I will put some sort of identification on it and I will not forget to pull it out again.

In other news:

For my Journalism assignment, we need to do a profile on someone interesting. So I figure, I'm going to do a profile on one of Dad's friends, who happens to be a partner in a big company. (I'm not exactly sure what it does..but it has a lot of branches) They keep going on about how huge a deal it is that she managed to get to that position, so gee, I guess she has to be really important! (This is sarcasm by the way)

Over dinner, Dad was telling us how she used to be the prettiest girl in their school, and how all the guys (including his friends, and possibly..himself? XD But ew, I just don't want to think about that) were so into her, but everyone was so intimidated by her (apparently she was/IS really smart too...some people just get everything) that nobody dared to ask her out. This apparently carried over to adult life, where she's still very pretty, according to my parents, and as you can see, very, very successful.

However, she isn't married.

I find that a little sad, in a way. Oh, I'm by no means condemning her for not being married or anything. It's really great that she managed to do so well for herself, all BY herself, and she's really set a good example for aspiring young ladies (like me!) But isn't it a little tragic that she's missing out on the opportunity to start a family, just because men are so intimidated by her that they don't even dare to ask her out? I mean, she's supposedly the whole package, and more - but apparently men don't WANT the perfect package...

...because they're scared of it?

I wonder if she misses it, somehow. I could be totally wrong and she could be enjoying her life just as it is, thank you very much. But wow..it just says something when a perfectly eligible, more than competent woman is still single despite such an attractive package because men are used to being the powerful ones. Suddenly, when the woman reigns, their sense of equilibrium falls apart and their world crumbles. XD

Okay, being a little melodramatic there. But still! Something to ponder about and probably related to gender equality issues, but I'm sleepy so you can figure that out yourself.




Sunday, April 26, 2009


You know one thing I really hate?

When people look at you, think you're not important enough, then look right THROUGH you as you walk right NEXT to them, even though you're in the same class, same tutorial, or have been in the same school. Until you actually walk up to them, wave in their face and say 'Hi!' and then they have no choice but to acknowledge you. Or the friend that they're with decides to say hi to you, and then they really can't ignore you without being rude.

God, I bloody hate these people. HATE.

I'm quiet, but I'm not invisible, am I? :(






I am rather sad.

Nobody wants to go to Melbourne in the second year with me :(

Everyone either doesn't want to go, or is planning on taking the exchange program in their last year, which would financially be the more logical choice (except if I do exchange, I'd be going to Gippsland anyway, which is 160km away from Melbourne and really gives me NO CHOICE but to do a transfer)

By all accounts I SHOULD go next year. I should, I really should. I should go for the exposure and whatnot and everything I've been dreaming about since I was stuck in the hot, dreary classes of high school ignoring the teacher scribbling on the chalkboard. But now that I actually have a chance to do it...

I'm scared. :(

I'm not like other people who have a million friends in Melbourne and have a ready made support group whenever they go down there..I have -acquaintances-, sure, but who'll I call if I have an accident? Who'm I going to complain to if I can't deal with the Monash workload? Who am I going to stick to in campus so I don't look like so much of an outsider? :( These, for the average teenagers, are really real concerns that parents just tend to dismiss and say 'Oh, you'll make new friends', which is why I've been so reluctant to do that comparison chart that Mom keeps insisting will be better able to help me make the choice. Sigh.

I think they overestimate my capability to make friends.

On one of my recent visits back to Taylor's, Mr Winston said I was 'an academic'. He didn't clarify why, but after thinking about it a bit, I guess I am rather, in a way. I'm kind of introverted, which is by no means a requirement for being an academic, but it certainly wouldn't help me in the PR department. I'm trying to conquer that, and I think I'm doing pretty well, I don't hyperventilate during presentations or forget (all) my points now..but it's simply not in my -nature- to be extroverted, you know? I'm just not that kind of person. I can be loud and crazy if you wanted, but it just wouldn't be -me-. And I think people know this, and wouldn't buy it :P

It doesn't help when you have kind of a soft voice, either.

I hate my voice.

And my nose.

And my eyes.

And my teeth.

And my hair.

And my toes. (I know, random but I do, they're the reason I can't wear normal flats)

Oh, it's not like I'll be completely friendless in Melbourne, I know, but I've got no one in Monash, and I think that's what matters the most. If I had one..just ONE friend who was going to come down with me, I wouldn't hesitate at all and would be more than happy to come down next year.

But noooo, instead I find myself in the same dilemma as I did last year - only with less justification to come, because the campus and environment here is way, way better than Taylors', which was part of the reason I wanted to leave.

ARGHHHHHH. :( What do I do?!




Monday, April 20, 2009


I decided I needed to put something new on my blog, otherwise every time I come to my blog I'll be staring at the pictures of Kelly. I was quite upset that night, even decided to skip COM1010 *cough* and sleep in because I hadn't been sleeping well and I still had the Journalism assignment to do. Typical me.

Anyway, after nearly hitting two cars today due to not concentrating on the road (with my mom beside me too *cough*) I figured that life still goes on. I guess Kelly didn't have too bad a life while he was with us - it could have been better, yes, but we didn't kick him out of the house or anything, and we did feed him and give him pets and such..so I guess that makes me feel better in a way.

On to other topics..it's rather depressing to have your next assignmentS (yes, all lovely four of them) due in two weeks right after you've finished the last of the first batch. Plus, as this is your second assignment, it's going to be doubly hard, too. Sigh.

I'm still reluctant to make that comparison chart listing out the pros and cons of staying or going to Australia, simply because I know it won't help due to the myriad underlying factors that I can't exactly put in there. Some my parents would just discount, and some..well, just can't be said, for now. For instance, if I told them that one of my reasons for not wanting to go down is because I'd be all on my lonesome, they'd dismiss it and go, 'Ha, I went down to Singapore by myself, knowing NOBODY at all and only RM500 to my name!' I mean, yeah, you were brave, I know, but you're you, and that was then. It's really not the same.

Also, I guess there's the small matter of not knowing how to cook *cough* But I guess as Tao said I should really learn...just lazy >< Cooking is not a subject that interests me..eating, on the other hand..hehehe.

Yes I'm a scaredy cat X.X




Sunday, April 19, 2009



Ever since we moved house, we've been wondering what to do with Kelly, the cat that I got from my best friend as a present during my 18th birthday. Nobody wanted to take him in, apparently PAWS doesn't take strays (or euthanizes them after a period of time) and well..we couldn't just leave him there.


We came back about twice, thrice every week to the old house to clean it up and feed Kelly, and each time he was really happy to see us (well, living in a house all by yourself can be lonely) and eventually we decided to bring him here, to Bandar Utama, and set him in the alley behind us. We might be able to feed him at night, we reasoned, and it was better than just leaving him here.


Days passed, and somehow we never got around to bringing him here. Earlier this week, when I went back, I noticed his food was low. He wasn't there in the house. Thinking he'd just gone exploring, I left. This morning, my maid came to me and asked, "Did you throw Kelly away already?" Surprised, I shook my head no, and she said he hadn't been in the house - and his food was uneaten still.


That should have raised warning bells in my head, but he's been known to go missing for days at a time when he was exploring on the roof, so I didn't think much of it..until my dad called barely 10 minutes earlier. Apparently a neighbour had seen the body of a cat that looked much like Kelly, dead..in a drain or in the road, I don't know. I wouldn't have thought much of it until my dad said that the neighbour had asked, 'Does your cat have a collar?' and since I don't know any other black cats that have collars, and Kelly has been missing..there is really only one inevitable conclusion.


Kelly, I'm sorry I was such a horrible owner. I'm sorry I didn't take better care of you, I'm sorry I didn't bring you over here earlier like I promised. I'm sorry for abandoning you and leaving you alone in the house for so long. I feel like I was given a second chance ever since Sabre died..and I blew it. Again. I'm sorry I shut you out when you wanted to come upstairs and rub around my feet, I'm sorry I didn't pet you because you got hairs on my clothing.

I'm still hoping that it wasn't you, Kelly, I really am. But if it was..I hope wherever you are, you're somewhere happier now, and even though I know it really doesn't make a difference at this stage - I'm really, really sorry, Kelly.

Our 'problem' has been solved - but I don't feel any happier because of it.

You know what the sad part is? The sad part is that I'm going to go downstairs, with my eyes and nose red, and my mom is going to ask why I cried, and I'm going to say it's because of Kelly, and she's going to scoff and say 'Well, you never really took care of him anyway' or she's going to say 'Well, he's already dead, no use crying about it.'

I feel like the world's biggest jerk.






Some of you know this already, but I am vastly intolerant of clingy exes. Yup. I have no desire to reconcile with them at all, UNLESS we were very good friends in the beginning. I'm a believer in the 'clean break' idea - I think that 'being best friends' is a sad way to attempt to still have a connection together. There's no point giving someone false hope if the feelings aren't there any more - I'd rather lose a friend than let it drag on and on and on and full of guilt and pain and whatnot.

Yes, I have a very low pain threshold.

I've had guys in the past ask me if they could be 'best friends' with me (this includes my ex) after the relationship/attempt at starting relationships didn't work out. Don't you think there's something wrong with this reasoning? If I had originally been best friends with you, sure, it might still be a valid question. "Okay, so we won't work as boyfriend/girlfriend, but maybe we can still be best friends?' But after a rejection/break up, what possible incentive could I have to 'magically' become 'best friends' with you? If I wasn't best friends with you before, why on earth would I want to suddenly become best friends with you because...I rejected you??

And they say GIRLS are hard to understand.

My current best friends have been with me in the same secondary school for 5 years, same class for 2 years, sat together for 2 years, been in the same societies for 3 years, etc. 'Best friend' status isn't something you can just give away overnight, you know. You don't 'magically' know everything I'm thinking and feeling just because hey, you're my best friend today!

Things just don't work like that.

Yes, I am cruel, and admittedly kind of mean and cowardly *cough* when it comes to rejection and breaking up. (Sue me, I hate confrontations) But seriously, I think it's for the better in the long run - why not force him to get over you quicker so that he can pursue someone else? Why continue to give him false hope by maintaining a 'close' relationship and letting him think he still has a chance? I abhor people who string other people along, and I have no intention of being someone like that.

Even if you were best friends before, but had a messy breakup, you'd still need some time away from each other to recover, heal, reconcile with yourself, and THEN only can you begin to try and repair the relationship between you two - and then maybe it can be saved. If in your heart you still have a lot of hurt, still pine for him/her, still think about him/her all the time - how can you even try to want to be 'just friends' with him/her when you can't even think of him/her in that way? And if he/she rejects your offer at friendship, it really might not be because 'you're not ready to be friends again' but maybe because YOU yourself are not ready to accept that he/she genuinely does not want you in their lives any more.

It's a long story. ;)




Saturday, April 18, 2009



According to Joelle, my new turquoise and silver glittery eyeliner (yes, eyeLINER) makes my eyes look 'way biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr'.

I'm normally not one to buy makeup but when I was playing with these in a shop in Tropicana City *cough* (well..when else do you get to try on makeup??) they looked really good together and I really couldn't decide which to get so I got both. *shifty*

What do you think? :P




Friday, April 17, 2009


Yes, people. I am updating.

Shock!!

*grin*

As those in Taylor's already know, I have been back recently to interview people for my Journalism assignments - which, if you're curious, are two hard news stories, both 300 words each. This may sound simple, but I assure you, according to the teacher's guidelines it is most definitely not. I challenge you - do you have the bravery to walk into high end stores in 1 Utama alone, and ask for interviews even knowing that these people will usually reject you? That's what I had to do, and although 8 out of 10 shops refused to talk to me, at least I tried!

Which is quite an achievement for a girl who used to get up on stage for a storytelling competition, and immediately forgot half the words because she was so scared.

I've come a long way since then. ;)

I have blisters on my feet thanks to my pretty but utterly useless for walking new shoes, which is why I'm lying in bed instead of doing my assignment like I should. *coughs*

Okay, people have asked me about Monash. Evidently people didn't bother to read the facts about Monash that I posted earlier, but since I'm so nice, I'll repeat them for you. :P

Monash costs 81k (for Bachelor of Arts) over 3 years. If you go to Australia, you pay the same number, but in Aussie dollars.
Monash has wonderful infrastructure. I haven't seen Taylor's new campus yet, but if I'd stayed at Taylor's I'd have gone the second year and not be able to see the new campus anyway. :P
Monash lecturers are awesome. But so are Taylor's lecturers, so please, seriously. Stop giving them grief.
Monash is really a place to study, which is good for me :P

Truthfully, yes, the classes have been really interesting but they've also required a lot of focus. If you don't listen during the lectures, you're pretty screwed in tutorials. *cough* They're not easy readings either!!

Monash students are also..quite different from Taylors. Very competitive and *cough* are a hell of a lot more hardworking than meeeee. But no, there are no Sams or Sarahs or Siew Lings or Viviennes or Patricks here :P

On a side note, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY to Vivienne!! Everyone wish her happy birthday if you see her! Sorry I couldn't make it to your party! (Use the glitter la, I'll show you where to buy it :P)

HAPPY I-don't-know-how-old BIRTHDAY to Jared, whom you all will not know because he is my Achaean friend :P Don't get too drunk and fight again!!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to Leng Jie, who doesn't read this blog but was my Police Cadet senior! Stay pretty and happy!

Also HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to Kaley!! Have a great birthday and may all your wishes come true!

Phew, I think that's about it. So many April babies!