Sunday, April 19, 2009



Ever since we moved house, we've been wondering what to do with Kelly, the cat that I got from my best friend as a present during my 18th birthday. Nobody wanted to take him in, apparently PAWS doesn't take strays (or euthanizes them after a period of time) and well..we couldn't just leave him there.


We came back about twice, thrice every week to the old house to clean it up and feed Kelly, and each time he was really happy to see us (well, living in a house all by yourself can be lonely) and eventually we decided to bring him here, to Bandar Utama, and set him in the alley behind us. We might be able to feed him at night, we reasoned, and it was better than just leaving him here.


Days passed, and somehow we never got around to bringing him here. Earlier this week, when I went back, I noticed his food was low. He wasn't there in the house. Thinking he'd just gone exploring, I left. This morning, my maid came to me and asked, "Did you throw Kelly away already?" Surprised, I shook my head no, and she said he hadn't been in the house - and his food was uneaten still.


That should have raised warning bells in my head, but he's been known to go missing for days at a time when he was exploring on the roof, so I didn't think much of it..until my dad called barely 10 minutes earlier. Apparently a neighbour had seen the body of a cat that looked much like Kelly, dead..in a drain or in the road, I don't know. I wouldn't have thought much of it until my dad said that the neighbour had asked, 'Does your cat have a collar?' and since I don't know any other black cats that have collars, and Kelly has been missing..there is really only one inevitable conclusion.


Kelly, I'm sorry I was such a horrible owner. I'm sorry I didn't take better care of you, I'm sorry I didn't bring you over here earlier like I promised. I'm sorry for abandoning you and leaving you alone in the house for so long. I feel like I was given a second chance ever since Sabre died..and I blew it. Again. I'm sorry I shut you out when you wanted to come upstairs and rub around my feet, I'm sorry I didn't pet you because you got hairs on my clothing.

I'm still hoping that it wasn't you, Kelly, I really am. But if it was..I hope wherever you are, you're somewhere happier now, and even though I know it really doesn't make a difference at this stage - I'm really, really sorry, Kelly.

Our 'problem' has been solved - but I don't feel any happier because of it.

You know what the sad part is? The sad part is that I'm going to go downstairs, with my eyes and nose red, and my mom is going to ask why I cried, and I'm going to say it's because of Kelly, and she's going to scoff and say 'Well, you never really took care of him anyway' or she's going to say 'Well, he's already dead, no use crying about it.'

I feel like the world's biggest jerk.