Sunday, April 19, 2009


Some of you know this already, but I am vastly intolerant of clingy exes. Yup. I have no desire to reconcile with them at all, UNLESS we were very good friends in the beginning. I'm a believer in the 'clean break' idea - I think that 'being best friends' is a sad way to attempt to still have a connection together. There's no point giving someone false hope if the feelings aren't there any more - I'd rather lose a friend than let it drag on and on and on and full of guilt and pain and whatnot.

Yes, I have a very low pain threshold.

I've had guys in the past ask me if they could be 'best friends' with me (this includes my ex) after the relationship/attempt at starting relationships didn't work out. Don't you think there's something wrong with this reasoning? If I had originally been best friends with you, sure, it might still be a valid question. "Okay, so we won't work as boyfriend/girlfriend, but maybe we can still be best friends?' But after a rejection/break up, what possible incentive could I have to 'magically' become 'best friends' with you? If I wasn't best friends with you before, why on earth would I want to suddenly become best friends with you because...I rejected you??

And they say GIRLS are hard to understand.

My current best friends have been with me in the same secondary school for 5 years, same class for 2 years, sat together for 2 years, been in the same societies for 3 years, etc. 'Best friend' status isn't something you can just give away overnight, you know. You don't 'magically' know everything I'm thinking and feeling just because hey, you're my best friend today!

Things just don't work like that.

Yes, I am cruel, and admittedly kind of mean and cowardly *cough* when it comes to rejection and breaking up. (Sue me, I hate confrontations) But seriously, I think it's for the better in the long run - why not force him to get over you quicker so that he can pursue someone else? Why continue to give him false hope by maintaining a 'close' relationship and letting him think he still has a chance? I abhor people who string other people along, and I have no intention of being someone like that.

Even if you were best friends before, but had a messy breakup, you'd still need some time away from each other to recover, heal, reconcile with yourself, and THEN only can you begin to try and repair the relationship between you two - and then maybe it can be saved. If in your heart you still have a lot of hurt, still pine for him/her, still think about him/her all the time - how can you even try to want to be 'just friends' with him/her when you can't even think of him/her in that way? And if he/she rejects your offer at friendship, it really might not be because 'you're not ready to be friends again' but maybe because YOU yourself are not ready to accept that he/she genuinely does not want you in their lives any more.

It's a long story. ;)